Smoke Hills

Loneliness drips as if it was my heart on trip… gripped with silence and unfortunate thoughts… I sit in a hazy gaze from the gas that fills my lungs… inhaling smooth but it’s not like you to smoke with me…. Pause with me… fall with me… you were above me angels… envious…. Petty I knew you and worshiped you… now you fall alongside me…
Beside my sins next to the pit I once called my heart… as it falls slowly apart with no regard… discarding what I was breathing in for a dark gust of thoughts hovering over my head… tears instead of smiles fulfill my face… fill the space I once called my beating… it’s beating me up inside and out… blue and black spots leaving me here to wallow away…. Passing away in my pain and shuttering my emotions in black ink on the paper of deceit I bleed grief…. I sit on my knees pleading for relief from this….

I want to dismiss these miss stresses a mess or miss kind of shot though my eye… I’m a eye witness to this… pressing my head against it… kisses from the heat make me fill higher than Jehovah himself… I’m not up to this lust to this addiction I’ve justified as pain reliever …. Aspirin comparison…. But way more potent…Vulgar and stronger…. Like the white man wrist against my chest killing me and suicide attempts are a hit or miss…. The weekend has become a release from the pressures… and clusters of the bud kiss my lips and I forget all about you, them, us, and Tim… my lips stained from the colors of the brim so I continue to get lost in your dimmed light illuminating my life as it was once dark… it put my life on park… stopped at the ends of the earth… as i go higher... feeling up to this... like the attempts before i achieved the highness i've been longing for... so now my soul can rest and my body and soar...