seconds before the crash

beautiful mam. the last stanza kills it!

i'm not really good at commenting but i like this alot miss atakti....

well done mam..

Thanks, jr, I'm pleased you like it.

:)

Lovely Atakti, definitely a good piece, loving the sensual tone, very sweet.

Thanks, Evan, very kind.

:)

I like the title. Mainly because there's nothing to do with crashing in the poem; you just get that moment of bliss. For me it reads quite free and easy going; laid back. Not so much adrenaline. That's mainly your structure and line-breaks that evoked that. Clever write.

Thank you kindly, Mr A. Good to see your footprints here.

:)

Soothing poem, especially liked:

around your ribs, as I press tighter,
safer here. I hear your happiness,
sunlit

Very well written :)

We grab these moments where we can. Thanks, Scribbler!

Gabriel, that's one of my favorite parts, too.

Thanks. :)

Sensational write, Atakti! Beautifully penned & a wonderful read! :)

Carlene

Thanks, Carlene, I'm pleased you liked it.

truly bliss... i dream of crashes such as this
loved it!

Thanks, 13, so pleased you connected with this.

:)

it is a clever write, gonna go ahead and agree with Mr.A.
perfect structure, and almost an overload of sensation despite that.
warming, and pleasant read

lb, good to see you here, thanks for your comments!

:)

Yes!  Motorcyle poetry rules!  I just got back from a 300 miler to Monterey, pure joy.  Great Piece, Mike.

Motorcycles, mmmm.

Somehow, I knew you'd approve, hehe

Thanks, Mike!

No, not approve, Appreciate!  Lol

Certainly a clever write, Atakti. I found it a mix of both sad and ...well not so much happy, even though you use the word bliss, but then I look at the title again and think, you clever li'l fox.

good stuff.  

I'm happy you spotted the mix of emotions, Craic.

Thanks for that...

:)

This is like a roller coaster ride, hold on to your seat and one might not know where one might end up, but enjoy the ride. For me its about being and catching the moment.
Great one, Ataki

A roller coaster...

A unique comment, Mourganna, many thanks for your thoughts.

:)

Your best yet ataki

strider

Woah, Strider, I have mixed feelings on that, but respect your opinion, and pleased you think so...

Thanks!  :)

What a magnificent choice of topic and so beautifully brought to screen...

I popped a tear... for me that sensual moment that border lined on the erotic was exquisitely special... and then that non spoken horror at the end was just earth shuddering.

five high ones from me on the technique of settling the end up in the title and category and then giving us the beauty... the special moment before, hell it's almost a swansong...

Well done here I just can't tell how much respect I have for this wonderful piece.


Al-x-

Ah, Al, thanks so much for your insights and kind words.

Thank you...

:)

I don't really do the artistic breaks that this piece holds, but there is definitely a serene air that comes from the piece. The third stanza definitely wins the best stanza prize (should a prize exist). Not so sure about the inhaling of a black T, sounds like a frat party bet gone horribly wrong.

Black T - lol, Panama, ok, I see what you mean, take it not-so-literally, and it might work for you.

Thanks for your kind words on the rest...

Wonders if the seconds stole the miles of this wonderful lonely journey.

Excellent Atakti. :)

Glad it got you wondering...

Thanks, Magdalena.  :)

I feel like i'm rushing down the highway with you feeling free and unbound..blissful indeed..peace Crim

Feeling the freedom... I'm glad you do.

Thanks, Crim.

Ahhhhh.....a cycle( Harley Davidson roadster-- a low-rider,candy-apple metal-flake blue, to be exact),summer nights,and flying free down the open highway...truly awesome, unsurpassed by very little else, to be certain!

Your poem, with its vividly creative imagery--visual, gustatory, auditory, tactile--so accurately creates this amazing experience!

"my eyes squint against the rush,/hair tresses torn loose,skim across /my lips...."my favorite lines,just soo spot on!  ( I mean,I know that I should, but who likes wearing a "brain bucket, right?)

It is glad that I am,that I read your poem...recalled special memories! As a writer, you are truly talented! Thanks for sharing.

Sioch`ain  leat,

Dark Enchantress  

Wow, what a great comment, Dark Enchantress...

Lovin' the detail on that bike, too, woooot!

Many thanks for stopping by, and your very generous thoughts.

:)

I like this one, simple, understated with power. There is a sense of romance about it (albeit a little dark), which is why it had me wondering why it's in the dark category, when IMO it's not a dark poem, despite the overall context of the piece.

I really enjoyed it. :)

Peace, Indie

It's in the dark category because of the title...

The unspoken events that follow are open to every reader's interpretation.

Thanks for your comment, Indie, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

The poem really takes off in the second verse, where in conjunction with the title it becomes haunting. The syntax is sometimes strange, but I like that because it creates a unique stream-of-consciousness similar to John Berryman's dream songs. Thanks for the read.

Ooh, Berryman... thanks, Jack, for your thoughts!

I'm glad you liked it.

:)

Atakti

This is a great "female" take on a motorcycle, and the effects of a ride. It's also for me a kick ass metaphor for a relationship, especially when you throw the title into the mix.

Much enjoyed :)

Maggie, what a great comment.

The metaphor is a beautiful layer on top, thanks for that.

:)

The read is just as exhilarating as the imagery of such a ride, both clever and creative, very much enjoyed~ Thanks for sharing :)~

Why, thank you, Sym, for your comment, glad you liked it.

:)

On the back of a motorcycle is a great place to be inspired.

This is a cool piece.