Fuck! Confusion!

I told myself id stop
im going to recover
everytime i hit it the pipe
it doesnt even Work!
So why keep doing it?
i'm just spending more
and more.
Whats the point anymore?
So i decided to enter
this road i never been
down before
recovery!
I don't want to freakin
stop being anyones friends.
Or even have to think bout
that.
but just maybe its the best
but there not all as bad as u
might think.
I know i need to freakin
saying i don't want
and just do whats right.
but danm its hard with no
family in sight.
To guide me or even hug me
when i'm having doubt
but as for now i sit
next to a shooter, a white girl
and a snorter of both.
So why im i sitting here
making myself pounded
cause i know that this so
wrong.
but hey there are there
for me when i need them
Oh well i need to do this
for just me!