Amalgamated Puzzle Pieces
The clock said it was sometime after 4 am and while the world was fast asleep, we remained awake with pupils the size of the moon. We were laying in bed after two successful injections and I was staring at my popcorn ceiling while you read aloud to me. The city was quiet as I listened to you share your most private thoughts and your deepest of secrets, even those of your inner demon. I donít believe anyone will understand you like this, the way I can. I remember thinking to myself,
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †ďThis girl is an artist.Ē
You told me every intricate detail of your life, your family, your guilt and your pain. Your voice was shaking when you told me about your childhood and the reasons youíre broken. I realized the rest of the world wasnít lucky enough to know the girl sitting in front of me, the girl you allowed me to see. They all say it was the drugs that brought us together but I know thatís not true, it was more than that. We bonded over shared afflictions and how our minds were haunted by darkness, we quickly amalgamated our lives and became inseparable. "Love" was a word easily spoken around you.
Iíve never had a friend who could understand me like you did, it was almost as if you were in my head. You were able to hear all the words my mouth was trying hard to swallow and withhold. Every time I spoke you werenít hearing what was audible, you heard everything I wanted to say but couldnít. You completed parts of me I never knew were lacking, I never realized my puzzle was incomplete until I met you and found every missing piece. Why am I so angry, why canít I just be happy for you? I was full of unexplained bitterness and I didnít understand why.
I spent some time going through pictures of two happy addicts in a parking lot, and I may have stumbled upon a likely cause. I missed you. I miss you still. You said youíd come back but you never did. You started a new life and you left me behind, now this apartment is empty and silent. When you left so did my puzzles other half, I was left here incomplete and I needed that missing piece. Maybe I cared about you more than I ever said. Maybe I couldnít admit how often you were in my head. And maybe tomorrow Iíll wish I had left this unsaid.
You broke the only promise we ever made. We were supposed to do this together, start over, be better.. but you left without me. "You jump, I jump." .. remember?