deepundergroundpoetry.com
Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
Here inside these walls
lays the beating of my heart
piercing away at my flesh
leaving skid marks on my alabaster skin
marks you never noticed
you couldn't see
beyond the bounds of my beauty
if only you had took the time to even just peek
into the depths of my mind
you could have seen me
known me
loved me even
but you decided to walk away
with my warm heart in the palm of your hands
cuz it wasn't worth your future
and easily you gave it back cold
with need
never finding out why it beats slow
or why it choice to love only you
and for that reason
you will never know that
lying at my core
are opened wounds
and uncut flawless diamonds
that are ready to shine
for the one that can look into my heart
not just look at me
lays the beating of my heart
piercing away at my flesh
leaving skid marks on my alabaster skin
marks you never noticed
you couldn't see
beyond the bounds of my beauty
if only you had took the time to even just peek
into the depths of my mind
you could have seen me
known me
loved me even
but you decided to walk away
with my warm heart in the palm of your hands
cuz it wasn't worth your future
and easily you gave it back cold
with need
never finding out why it beats slow
or why it choice to love only you
and for that reason
you will never know that
lying at my core
are opened wounds
and uncut flawless diamonds
that are ready to shine
for the one that can look into my heart
not just look at me
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comments 22
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Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
19th Feb 2013 9:26am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 12:14pm
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 10:59am
A deep and moving piece here Gigi, I like it very much. Only one little nit - verse 1, line 5 - did you mean see instead of seen?
Thanks for the read. :)
Peace, Indie
Thanks for the read. :)
Peace, Indie
0
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 12:13pm
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 11:32am
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 12:14pm
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 12:29pm
Hmmmm...
Men don't look at me like that Doll, they never have. So it is strangely hard for me to relate to the idea of looks. My Mother however was stunning looking, and a friggin fruitloop. Men should have looked a little closer with her for other reasons, including my Da.
Can you tell I am at a loss as what to say ? lol
This is personal indeed, and you do have my empathy at the very least :)
Men don't look at me like that Doll, they never have. So it is strangely hard for me to relate to the idea of looks. My Mother however was stunning looking, and a friggin fruitloop. Men should have looked a little closer with her for other reasons, including my Da.
Can you tell I am at a loss as what to say ? lol
This is personal indeed, and you do have my empathy at the very least :)
0
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 12:46pm
lying at my core
are opened wounds
and uncut flawless diamonds
that are ready to shine
Beautiful poem, lots of depth in each description.
Very well written, very much enjoyed.
are opened wounds
and uncut flawless diamonds
that are ready to shine
Beautiful poem, lots of depth in each description.
Very well written, very much enjoyed.
0
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 1:28pm
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 3:16pm
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 5:15pm
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
Hmmmm ......
Clearly the concept works for the comp ....
However, I have to say that this is interesting ..... purely because it sounds very much like this individual needed a sign or two from you .... as none of us are mind readers right ...
It may be a depth within you, but, sometimes, we as individuals have to be willing to show who we are to receive that, which we, apparently, truly want ....
Just saying ... You know I gotta mess wid ya a bit Madame, "I said this", now is it ... ???
Anyway, most seem to like it so .... good luck in the comp.
Clearly the concept works for the comp ....
However, I have to say that this is interesting ..... purely because it sounds very much like this individual needed a sign or two from you .... as none of us are mind readers right ...
It may be a depth within you, but, sometimes, we as individuals have to be willing to show who we are to receive that, which we, apparently, truly want ....
Just saying ... You know I gotta mess wid ya a bit Madame, "I said this", now is it ... ???
Anyway, most seem to like it so .... good luck in the comp.
0
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 8:43pm
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 9:43pm
Not a case of like or dislike ....
Just find your angle on the write to be interesting as said .....
Just find your angle on the write to be interesting as said .....
0
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 9:49pm
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
Anonymous
- Edited 19th Feb 2013 11:44pm
19th Feb 2013 11:43pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
19th Feb 2013 11:47pm
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
24th Feb 2013 10:34pm
Gg I see your beautiful heart..it glows with love and compassion and a sexiness beyond compare your writing shows this..xoxo Crim
0
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
25th Feb 2013 2:14am
Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
30th Mar 2013 2:51am
"if only you had took the time to even just peek into the depths of my mind
you could have seen me
known me
loved me even"
Great write sweetheart.. Could feel the heart beat while reading. Nice job....
you could have seen me
known me
loved me even"
Great write sweetheart.. Could feel the heart beat while reading. Nice job....
0
re: Re: Look into the depth of me (Atakti submerged challenge)
2nd Apr 2013 3:46am