deepundergroundpoetry.com
After-Glow
In after-glow, complete, sated,
Rapid heartbeats now abated
Whispered words, touches tender
Two hearts cede in their surrender
Bodies twined in love's embrace
Pleasure mirrored upon each face
Gentle touches, breathing slows
Bask in love's sweet after-glow
Cooling air, on dew wet skin
Scent of love, senses spin
Words of passion, spoken low
Shared between, this after-glow
Rapid heartbeats now abated
Whispered words, touches tender
Two hearts cede in their surrender
Bodies twined in love's embrace
Pleasure mirrored upon each face
Gentle touches, breathing slows
Bask in love's sweet after-glow
Cooling air, on dew wet skin
Scent of love, senses spin
Words of passion, spoken low
Shared between, this after-glow
Published 19th Feb 2013
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likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 10
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
19th Feb 2013 4:10am
Lola,
I'm not a huge fan of the A-A B-B technique, you've got it down pretty well in terms of a flow that skips along nice, you've watched your meter and syllable count and the rhyme seems un-forced.
good going, though I prefer your free verse eg elevation.
welcome to this place of words.
I'm not a huge fan of the A-A B-B technique, you've got it down pretty well in terms of a flow that skips along nice, you've watched your meter and syllable count and the rhyme seems un-forced.
good going, though I prefer your free verse eg elevation.
welcome to this place of words.
19th Feb 2013 4:20am
Thanks for that. I had done mostly rhyming poetry until quite recently. I've been dabbling a bit in free-verse and am liking it a lot. The OCD in me likes the structure of rhyme and meter, but I'm trying to work through it.
19th Feb 2013 5:27am
19th Feb 2013 1:26pm
19th Feb 2013 5:46am
Loved it- loved it- loved it! Carefully crafted- evocative words put together in meaningful ways within the confines of meter. Simple, subtle and tender- I am a fan of all types of poetry- but know that meter takes effort and yours was well rewarded- again- loved it - loved it - loved it!!
19th Feb 2013 1:29pm
Thanks you. I am partial to rhyme and flow, but I do try to keep an open mind and enjoy all types of poetry. Poetry is poetry, it can take many different forms, what matters more to me is when a piece speaks to me.
Anonymous
20th Feb 2013 1:57pm
This one brings to mind a song with the same title...by Bread..you know, David Gates...
Such an eloquent piece with cool rhythm......although the rhyming could break...just a little.....just an idea.
Is it ok to say? Wouldn't wanna irk any poet now, ok.
Pen on, poet!
Please do ;-)
Cheers
Tidespotter
Such an eloquent piece with cool rhythm......although the rhyming could break...just a little.....just an idea.
Is it ok to say? Wouldn't wanna irk any poet now, ok.
Pen on, poet!
Please do ;-)
Cheers
Tidespotter
20th Feb 2013 2:59pm
Of course it's okay to say. I may or may not always agree with what others have to say, but if I put it out there, and ask for an opinion, you have a right to express it and I will accept it with good grace in the spirit which it is offered.:)
Anonymous
20th Feb 2013 9:57pm
Thanks for your cool response :-)
Appreciate your gracious energy...
Please do keep at your penning, ok
Peace
Tidespotter
Appreciate your gracious energy...
Please do keep at your penning, ok
Peace
Tidespotter
23rd Feb 2013 7:50pm
An erotically warm as opposed to passionately hot read. How good lovemaking should finish.
