deepundergroundpoetry.com

Honest Critique (Hostile Waters)

Your writing is weak
and your conviction
even weaker.
You're a writer, are you?
Then what the fuck
did I just read?

A mesh of words.
Boring, bland.
And without direction.
Nothing to hold it
together.
No structure, no skill.
Without personification.
No metaphors, either!

Go ahead and 'write'
With your piss weak rhymes.
I've seen
better 'originality'
from a brick.
You claim you want
honest critique.
Don't break down in front of me.

When I bring the hammer down.
Struck to anvil
and left in the water
to simmer.
I attribute the same method
to your words.
And you cannot take it.

When you sit back down
after calling out the teacher.
Always remember
that your writing
isn't for the honest critiquers.
You're too weak for this.

So, before you submit another 'masterpiece',
safeguard your shit.
And disable the comments
because it's too far gone
for a change
to feedback for the friendly.
You're in hostile waters,
and I'm not fuckin' friendly.
AscensionES
Written by AscensionES (Aptilneilrionaltion)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13 reading list entries 1
comments 30 reads 686
AlwaysCaliban
Commenting Preference: 
The author encourages honest critique.

Latest Forum Discussions
SUGGESTIONS
Today 1:59am by cold_fusion
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:57am by Northern_Soul
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:56am by cold_fusion
POETRY
Today 1:25am by AspergerPoet56
SPEAKEASY
25th February 2021 11:54pm by Billy_Snagg
SUGGESTIONS
25th February 2021 11:31pm by cold_fusion