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fun guy (Amour fou 5)
I can handle my booze
better than any man should
but the prussian blue
that the moon wears tonight
has my slant curved
this is the type of weather
in which love
confesses itself to strangers
and
I can tell by the saucers
between your eyelids
that you too
have become a satellite
the music is in orbit
and we must dance the dark matter
that makes galaxies happen
because
tomorrows dawn
believes only in gravity
and will over analyze
our transmissions
calling us liars
let's not waste the winds
of this intoxicated moon
on any truth
that does not move
our hearts to laugh
better than any man should
but the prussian blue
that the moon wears tonight
has my slant curved
this is the type of weather
in which love
confesses itself to strangers
and
I can tell by the saucers
between your eyelids
that you too
have become a satellite
the music is in orbit
and we must dance the dark matter
that makes galaxies happen
because
tomorrows dawn
believes only in gravity
and will over analyze
our transmissions
calling us liars
let's not waste the winds
of this intoxicated moon
on any truth
that does not move
our hearts to laugh
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re: Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
12th Feb 2013 4:04pm
Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
Anonymous
12th Feb 2013 4:22pm
excellent light baron...want more
strider
strider

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re: Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
12th Feb 2013 4:30pm
Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
12th Feb 2013 7:22pm
re: Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
12th Feb 2013 7:40pm
Love, the love you've given...spose inside every avid psychedelic user is an amateur physicist and astronomer.. Thank ya kindly JR
Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
12th Feb 2013 8:30pm
Now that is a lovely change of pace from the norm you see this time of year Lb.
I think you actually got a sigh out of me ;)
I think you actually got a sigh out of me ;)
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re: Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
12th Feb 2013 8:57pm
Thanks a much Maggie.
A sigh is much praise...hmm the norm,
Yeah it could be the 55degree days that follow 17degree days in my neck of Pennsyltucky, or the handfull of mushrooms i ate the other night...but yup, im ready for the finer weather
A sigh is much praise...hmm the norm,
Yeah it could be the 55degree days that follow 17degree days in my neck of Pennsyltucky, or the handfull of mushrooms i ate the other night...but yup, im ready for the finer weather
Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
12th Feb 2013 9:11pm
Two picks because that ending also swooned me.
Either: "this is the type of weather
that confesses itself
to strangers"
Or
"This is the type of weather
in which love
confesses itself to strangers"
because of the wording there... And, this is one of my delights in "and" transition poems. Sometimes it fits everywhere, and after "orbit", the stop before "we must" feels like a change in voice to me, or a hiccup. It needs an "and", IMO. The rest was just the galaxy swirling for the narrator, his girl, and his moment. Good things, my friend... And a joy to read aloud, as always. [:
Either: "this is the type of weather
that confesses itself
to strangers"
Or
"This is the type of weather
in which love
confesses itself to strangers"
because of the wording there... And, this is one of my delights in "and" transition poems. Sometimes it fits everywhere, and after "orbit", the stop before "we must" feels like a change in voice to me, or a hiccup. It needs an "and", IMO. The rest was just the galaxy swirling for the narrator, his girl, and his moment. Good things, my friend... And a joy to read aloud, as always. [:
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re: Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
12th Feb 2013 9:26pm
Oh, yes i do like your suggestions there for the weather,love,confess thing... The weather alone confessing itself i quite like and may grow the balls for that..for now ill go with the band aid of love confessing itself, and borrow your wording.
And, i also agree with your "and" in that hiccup spot.
Thank you very much Jesta on the notes
And, i also agree with your "and" in that hiccup spot.
Thank you very much Jesta on the notes
Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
13th Feb 2013 4:28pm
This is beautiful all around- and again one of your poems I'm so grateful you've written, because it's an important one for everyone but no one could write it but you. Thank you lightbaron.
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re: Re: fun guy (Amour fou 5)
13th Feb 2013 4:57pm
Ah ms. V of the Selah variety (again btw, amazing name!)
Your comment is very kind, and i appreciate it much
Your comment is very kind, and i appreciate it much