deepundergroundpoetry.com
breakfast
“You need to stop swearing”
SHITTING, FUCKING HELL!
“You need to stop yelling”
Can I have an exclamation mark?
I don’t think my
SCREAMING
is
LOUD
enough!
Breakfast at my mother’s...
Who knew hash browns could fly
while I’m ducking to avoid a frying pan to the head
Scent sensors are apparently dead
'cause computer solitaire takes precedence
over an unburnt breakfast
as my father’s raising a tone
“Don’t let the kids touch the oven”
I’ve never seen black bacon before
and I don’t plan on seeing it again
© Indie Adams 2013
SHITTING, FUCKING HELL!
“You need to stop yelling”
Can I have an exclamation mark?
I don’t think my
SCREAMING
is
LOUD
enough!
Breakfast at my mother’s...
Who knew hash browns could fly
while I’m ducking to avoid a frying pan to the head
Scent sensors are apparently dead
'cause computer solitaire takes precedence
over an unburnt breakfast
as my father’s raising a tone
“Don’t let the kids touch the oven”
I’ve never seen black bacon before
and I don’t plan on seeing it again
© Indie Adams 2013
Published 9th Feb 2013
| Edited 25th Nov 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
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comments 7
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
9th Feb 2013 10:55pm
These well put words sound bitter and black like the bacon beat by computer solitaire. Love the poem! You created a dense atmosphere.
I.
I.
9th Feb 2013 10:58pm
Thank you Chiyo for your lovely feed back. I was hoping to create a slightly sarcastic atmosphere, but black and bitter works just fine. Glad you enjoyed :)
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
9th Feb 2013 11:14pm
Yes, on the surface it clearly HAS a sarcastic touch. I enjoyed it anyway :-).
I.
I.
9th Feb 2013 11:33pm
Definitely sarcasm and black bacon served up here. I like the light touch on what could be a very heavy topic.
:)
:)
25th Feb 2013 1:09am
Thank you very much Ataki, for your lovely feedback, I'm glad the sarcastic light cuts through the dark here. :)
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
10th Feb 2013 7:36am
Jeez! Crazy way to start the day! Haha, good stuff Indie! Keep swinging! :D
25th Feb 2013 1:09am
