deepundergroundpoetry.com
red nails
she has red nails
she drags them like scythes across my back
in the gales of our human storm
we hurry songs of the present, when the future is bleak
I don’t speak. my body invokes its own foreign language
she translates, and discovers a fiery star in obsidian carnage
with her red red mouth, she preaches that pain is pleasure.
the bites she bestows upon my shoulders are the blessings
of lecherous gods, fashioning bliss from rose-thorns, prescribing
sexual abandon as the cure for mediocrity
as I lick the aqueous substance from her skin, I imagine
Christ engaging his magic, rearranging molecules,
changing her sweat droplets into redeeming wine
should the Archangel entreat us now
we would gladly soar with him on our own wings
to the mansions of a rain forest paradise
and if I die in this dream
they can seal my coffin
with red nails
she drags them like scythes across my back
in the gales of our human storm
we hurry songs of the present, when the future is bleak
I don’t speak. my body invokes its own foreign language
she translates, and discovers a fiery star in obsidian carnage
with her red red mouth, she preaches that pain is pleasure.
the bites she bestows upon my shoulders are the blessings
of lecherous gods, fashioning bliss from rose-thorns, prescribing
sexual abandon as the cure for mediocrity
as I lick the aqueous substance from her skin, I imagine
Christ engaging his magic, rearranging molecules,
changing her sweat droplets into redeeming wine
should the Archangel entreat us now
we would gladly soar with him on our own wings
to the mansions of a rain forest paradise
and if I die in this dream
they can seal my coffin
with red nails
Published 3rd Feb 2013
| Edited 27th Sep 2015
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The author encourages honest critique.
3rd Feb 2013 5:26pm
You've got some great imagery in this. For example:
"she drags them like scythes across my back / in the gales of our human storm"
and
"...Christ engaging his magic / rearranging molecules, changing her sweat droplets / into redeeming wine"
In S6, however, with the reference to both an Archangel and Valhalla, you've mixed two religions--or a religion and a mythology, depending upon how you look at things. An Archangel wouldn't take two people to the old Norse heaven, although a valkyrie might.
But I did really enjoy this overall. Nicely done.
"she drags them like scythes across my back / in the gales of our human storm"
and
"...Christ engaging his magic / rearranging molecules, changing her sweat droplets / into redeeming wine"
In S6, however, with the reference to both an Archangel and Valhalla, you've mixed two religions--or a religion and a mythology, depending upon how you look at things. An Archangel wouldn't take two people to the old Norse heaven, although a valkyrie might.
But I did really enjoy this overall. Nicely done.
3rd Jan 2014 8:48am
3rd Feb 2013 9:01pm
A most enticing piece... found in the midnight hour... the lips lingering finding every inch of flesh to make this moment belong to only these two... for this one moment in time for pure estacy...
