Overdue Apologies

For weeks and weeks
I’ve been without
           Sleep.
How could I sleep in this bed,
Full of guilt, things
Left unsaid.
I’m sorry I never told you
I kept hoping maybe it
Wasn’t true.
I’m sorry I changed
You said we could never
Be the same.
I’m sorry I said, “It won’t
Happen again.”
I’m sorry I pushed you away
I should’ve begged you
To
         Stay.
I’m sorry you wasted three
Years chasing after
Me.
I’m sorry it ended that day
I’m sorry these drugs
Got in the way.
But I just couldn’t stop
Putting ice in my
Veins.
This inner demon wasn’t
Easily tamed.
I’m sorry for what I became,
Drug addicted and
Blood stained.
I’m sorry there’s so much,
I need to be sorry
For.
I’m sorry you don’t
Love me
Not anymore.
You loved the person
I was before.
Before the drugs came
And took me
Away.
If you need to point a
Finger.
I’ll take all the blame.
“You ruined us,
Bri.”
I’m not sorry I loved you
I’m just sorry
You loved
         Me.