But a dream

digging it!!!!
short and says sooo much!!!! well done!
you have many different styles and you are great at all of them :)

Thank you nikki ^_^

I love the way this poem begins & "Baby shit green" is wonderful. Great read throughout! :)

Carlene

I'm glad you liked it, I'm rather fond of the line baby shit green myself haha

I'm not sure if this is about getting new glasses or looking through the world wit h new eyes, could be either, haha I just know that as a glasses wearer, I've felt the relief of having gone without for so long then getting new glasses. Good read.

Caliban

Haha new eyes dear. It just felt like I should include the fact I wear glasses since it's mostly about envisioning a lifestyle within a dream. Might not make sense but it works for me.

You know how to break the ice with words well written!

The mix of metaphors and symbolism throws off the second half, after the line "Always catching my attention", it gets difficult to relate to the first half.  You say. Its this one spot on the wall that's catching your attention so when you say "grand perception" I think you are taking into consideration the entire wall which based on the first two lines doesn't equate with "golden morning". When you say you have a "new eye" it threw me off the first timei read because you never mentioned an "old eye". Usually glasses help correct vision instead of "obstructing" it , unless the glasses are the wall you described earlier. Please consider wording the second half to be more coherent because the beggining was terrific I think.

As far as word usage I like that "That fluid" draws out the double meaning of the word "spit" (if ya know what I mean). I like the contrast between "baby shit green" and "golden morning", complete opposite feelings. Oh yeah baby shit green was a great choice, brought the smell to my mind. Also the word "filth" is somewhat vague and an abstraction, filth could mean the walls are literaly covered in baby shit (both repulsive to the senses of sight and smell and possibly the appetite), or filth could mean the walls were covered in crayon markings of a three year old (merely an eye sore). Consider useing a more definite descriptive word in place of "filth" to push the feeling harder.

Well great job, kourtnisixx I hope this critique helps you improve and connect with the reader. By all means continue writing it is much enjoyed.

Thanks wolfman I had a feeling this was a bit out there even for my standards. It was more of a personal poem that only I can understand. I will work on making my poetry more relatable and decipherable for my readers. I always appreciate the thought and time you put into braking down  your comments.

This poem hits hard for me. With everything going on in my life that by becoming a better man and father this poem is very inspiring.