deepundergroundpoetry.com
the horrible accident
The hapiness of new year.,
Turned evrything into a big fear..
the last of 2012,,
brought a moment lyk hell,,
the day befre the cming year,,Evry1 eys wr ful of tears,,
u met with an accident, was d news,,
every1 was shocked like the circuit fused..
figting for ur lyf., U were in the hospital,,
meeting u was not possible,,
We were all shatered from bottom 2 top,,
As our lyf cme 2 a ful stop,,
the news of horrible ct scan,,
afraid us as much as it can..
hope within us was not yet lost,,
but fear was surrounding us lyk a ghost,,
god listened sum of ur prayers,
the normal ct scan reports lessen our fears,,
but still 72 hrs were critical for u,,
we were all praying just we can do,,
u fought for ur lyf,with ur spirit full on,
critical 72 hrs were gone,,
but still the pain u were suffering,,
was very much beyond our thinking..
with god's grace u recovred,
every1 came to meet, as they heard,,
out of ur lyf, all the dangers and fears were gone,,
and we celebrated the new year full on..
Turned evrything into a big fear..
the last of 2012,,
brought a moment lyk hell,,
the day befre the cming year,,Evry1 eys wr ful of tears,,
u met with an accident, was d news,,
every1 was shocked like the circuit fused..
figting for ur lyf., U were in the hospital,,
meeting u was not possible,,
We were all shatered from bottom 2 top,,
As our lyf cme 2 a ful stop,,
the news of horrible ct scan,,
afraid us as much as it can..
hope within us was not yet lost,,
but fear was surrounding us lyk a ghost,,
god listened sum of ur prayers,
the normal ct scan reports lessen our fears,,
but still 72 hrs were critical for u,,
we were all praying just we can do,,
u fought for ur lyf,with ur spirit full on,
critical 72 hrs were gone,,
but still the pain u were suffering,,
was very much beyond our thinking..
with god's grace u recovred,
every1 came to meet, as they heard,,
out of ur lyf, all the dangers and fears were gone,,
and we celebrated the new year full on..
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Re: the horrible accident
21st Jan 2013 8:37am
Re: the horrible accident
26th Jan 2013 5:48pm
re: Re: the horrible accident
26th Jan 2013 5:56pm
Anonymous
- Edited 30th Jan 2023 2:45pm
19th Feb 2013 5:48am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: the horrible accident
19th Feb 2013 7:27am
Re: the horrible accident
20th Feb 2013 7:42pm
re: Re: the horrible accident
21st Feb 2013 1:33am
Re: the horrible accident
21st Feb 2013 3:59pm
You well expressed your fears and emotions in this. A touching story, and I'm glad it ended on a happier note than it began.
lola
lola
0
re: Re: the horrible accident
21st Feb 2013 5:35pm
Re: the horrible accident
23rd Feb 2013 8:39am
re: Re: the horrible accident
23rd Feb 2013 8:41am
Re: the horrible accident
23rd Feb 2013 10:28am
re: Re: the horrible accident
23rd Feb 2013 11:13am
Re: the horrible accident
24th Feb 2013 2:10pm
... I'm glad he/she came out okay. Everyone I've known to be in that position died before I got the news... I guess that's what I get for having a family so far spread out.
A generally well written poem, but the txting lingo makes it seem... carelessly thrown together at first glance. While even that can be poetic, it is best that you not give your reader a misguided first impression. Just a friendly tip.
I hit the like ;)
A generally well written poem, but the txting lingo makes it seem... carelessly thrown together at first glance. While even that can be poetic, it is best that you not give your reader a misguided first impression. Just a friendly tip.
I hit the like ;)
1
re: Re: the horrible accident
25th Feb 2013 5:35pm
m glad u read that and thnks fr gvng d suggstions,, i wll surely take care of thar after.... :)
Re: the horrible accident
27th Feb 2013 4:46pm
Agree with Angel above--good topic matter, but the text-lingo makes it somewhat hard to stay focused on. Would be a far more effective "hit" to replace those with real, correctly spelled words. Nice job though!
0
re: Re: the horrible accident
27th Feb 2013 5:46pm
Re: the horrible accident
28th Feb 2013 4:10pm
re: Re: the horrible accident
1st Mar 2013 1:18am
Re: the horrible accident
Anonymous
4th Mar 2013 6:50am
you nest in your niche quite nicely..moving poem with nice expression..the text speak isn't for everyone ( I admit it's not my fav way to read poetry) but my dear, nothing you do will ever please everyone-it's life.
well done and welcome to DUP
well done and welcome to DUP
0
re: Re: the horrible accident
4th Mar 2013 8:27am
Re: the horrible accident
Anonymous
4th Mar 2013 4:03pm
Very nice, write your way, I wanted to hate the text lingo, then I remembered that I am old and you are young. Blaze your own trail, too many wanna-be "English Professors" will mention your method rather than focus on your message. The Beats were criticized for not writing in traditional paragraphs and with no punctuation. Ignore the critics and express express express!!!! Thanks for making me think while reading the touching poem.
0
re: Re: the horrible accident
5th Mar 2013 00:28am
the horrible accident
7th Mar 2013 3:25am
re: the horrible accident
7th Mar 2013 4:23am
Re: the horrible accident
13th Mar 2013 1:31am
A powerfully touching tale. Like your style keeps you on the edge. till the end.
0
re: Re: the horrible accident
13th Mar 2013 10:52am
Re: the horrible accident
9th Apr 2013 4:31pm
Thank you for sharing that, its good to hear you can express yourself after all that, thank you for the poem, its just reminds me of how important people are !!!!
0
re: Re: the horrible accident
10th Apr 2013 2:22pm
Re: the horrible accident
10th Apr 2013 5:56pm
I'm sorry to hear about your mother.
Just want to let you know
that
you are never.
And God is with you.
I lost my mom last year and it still hurts.
Just want to let you know
that
you are never.
And God is with you.
I lost my mom last year and it still hurts.
0
re: Re: the horrible accident
11th Apr 2013 7:16pm