The Bar Stewards Ball

 
They came from every corner of the Western World
Waving their bright banners freshly they’d unfurled
To camp beside a stinking sewer and hold a bar stewards ball
Then decide who was the biggest bar steward of them all
There were bar stewards fat and bar stewards thin
There were evil bar stewards too
There were dodgy looking bar stewards sitting sniffing glue
 
There were lying spying bar stewards
Given to journalism
Six feet lower than shark shit
They should have been in prison
There were bar stewards selling pussy
A habit to support
There were bar stewards they called bankers
Thieves who never did get caught
 
There were sycophantic bar stewards
With a total lack of guts
Bending over backwards
In their efforts to lick butts
Ingratiating bar stewards each and every one
The slimiest dirtiest bar stewards  
The world had ever known
 
But the winner of the contest
By a country mile
Was a bar steward who could murder you
Whilst continuing to smile
He was slicker than a blob of snot
Upon a glass door knob
They called this evil bar steward
By the name of Bob the Gob
 
What were the traits that won him
The coveted first position?  
Thirty years of skulduggery
As a career politician