come the drums

     
shoulda known the day was gonna burn everything down      
from the way the sun leapt out of the ocean      
like a boxer who’d slipped over in the spit and the blood      
and was comin’ back on his feet      
evil angry      
shoulda known by the way the truck wanted to be thrashed      
wanted to be hurled and hung on the edge of grip      
twisting grinding toward work      
shoulda known the world was a fuck-hole      
by the way my goddamn loveless face      
kept leaking onto my shirt      
more tears for none-of-your-fucking-business      
for the boy who didn’t make it    
for death and its gutless cuts      
shoulda shoulda shoulda known the world was ending      
by the way the truck radio only wanted to howl scream rage blues guitar      
at a hundred and fuckin’ ten      
yeah I shoulda known by the poetry heaving outta my chest      
shoulda known by the shadows on the ground in the tight corners      
begging me to read the road wrong      
to fuck it all up      
to go over the edge and plunge deathward into the river      
swallow me      
more tears  for the river to spit at the sea      
shoulda known madness was coming      
shoulda felt it in the ugly heathen ground dying under my boots      
when I stepped outta the truck      
stood and stared at the torn tangled earth      
dead trees dirty ground blank stupid men      
ugly hearted stupid men      
working for dollars and beer and their stunted stories      
told each night to women who don’t like them while they walk another day to their graves      
as empty as slaves      
shoulda known it shoulda seen it all      
wiped the tears from my shirt      
fuck ‘em fuck the lot of everything    
I’ll say it was coffee spilled or I’ll say nothing at all    
aint no shame in going crazy when the whole blunt world already beat me too it    
pick myself up      
hold on to my shit      
curl up my lip      
bare my teeth at all of it    
at this meaningless swirl of days    
     
     
when it comes for me      
when the cloak comes and the hills hear drums      
and the sun don’t stop for even a heartbeat    
I’ll say yes      
and rest easy    
     
hell    
     
I want it