letter to the woman who prefers walking away

Will get back to this with more concise feedback.
But for now,
this def is working for me, love the voice
love the sage-fool
might have small bone to pick w the term "whatnot"
not sure yet.
Cheers man, good write

lb

my good man.:]

thank ye for stopping by. this was a text
message if you believe me which i posted
as a poem. very happy that it works for
you. 'whatnot' is plain jane lazy. will
see about it, though it works at times.

bright days,

sumeet

Though we may be spirit bros she may have a small point albiet a tiny one.  You have to balance the internal and the external. Other than that this is a good poem, although it is a little clunky in some parts.  I noticed your style is a little more grounded than usual for you.  I still like your raw "out of this world style" a little contrast is always nice.

matthew

ah! such a heart warming comment.:]

you are right. but, it's much deeper than
that. painful and beautiful. the resolution
eludes, but such fun it is to chase.

grounded, yes. i know. :] clunky. i would
agree with that. times are a-changing, may
be. full circle.

thank you plenty brother.

much love,

sumeet

Whittling again?
Cool.
You did less pruning here than before :-)

What's wrong with "whatnot"...?
It actually feels superb in the fit here, of this poem, this context.
Makes it feel more "real"... What with woman walking away....bills....feeds....harsh winter...whatnot?
:-D

Pen on, W W, whittle or not.
Thanks for the share.

Dig this piece!

Cheers
Tidespotter

tidespotter

you sire are a joy. :]

good call on pruning. got the eye, eh.
yes, no pruning at all. just one shot,
straight from the cannon.

well, whatnot is one word found a lot
'round these parts. i agree with you
and that was precisely the reason.
glad it made sense.

thank you for the uplifting words.
it's like you came out of the water,
lay down your thoughts and went back.
ha. :]

happy days,

sumeet

Glad you liked the feedback, W W.
Lots of w's in that read, hey.
Well, your word wanted no wrong....well, whatnot...
 
Good thing you can't prune beyond what the ground can hold......
For, here then....under the water where YOU have placed me.....I am SAFE!
:-)
 
Wield pen forth, dear chap!
 
Tidespotter

:-)

Poem presentation perfect as usual and I love the way you wrote that, casual but deep. Sumeet, great read, enjoyed.

grace

so good to see you here.:] hope you
have been well. thank you for the kind
words. casual yes, this is. glad you
enjoyed it.

happy days,

sumeet

Ahhh, Whitewand6, luv ~ :-*

I rather love this poem. Tis ineffably right on target; speaks to so much in my own life right now...mayhap, in differing ways.

This concept of thinking about the fire that burns within keeping us alive during the harsh winters of life - ahhh, I love that truly and subscribe to that wholly. Tis true. Simply. Tis truth. And, that it is love - ahhh yes, luv, tis indeed.

Then, you cap it off with this (which near brought me to my knees, and, forgive me, luv, but I cannot paraphrase it well enough so I will quote entire):

so, you see,
we are not so different
after all. unless of course the world
nails thoughts hard onto the wood
of your mind cos' then even jesus
will bleed and die and who am i,
my love,other than
what you think of
me and how
you know
me to
be

.

This, here, is brilliance, unmitigated, luv, for you say starkly, plainly. Unless the world nails thoughts onto the wood of your mind - Ahhhh, you slay me with this! I have been slain with this o'er and o'er. The world having nailed thoughts onto the woods of minds regarding me...

Yours is a rare genius mind. I am honored to experience your poetry, luv. Thank you for leaving this legacy here. :-*

I am glad I came back here. This is beautiful. I miss you. Come on home.