deepundergroundpoetry.com
Pure
The moon soft in it's full cycle,
Filtering though the water and
branches above.
Somethings were pure in spirit.
She had been awaiting it's arrival,
It's meandering journey across the
sky never faltered.
As she waited to be discovered
Along with the moon that never faltered.
Filtering though the water and
branches above.
Somethings were pure in spirit.
She had been awaiting it's arrival,
It's meandering journey across the
sky never faltered.
As she waited to be discovered
Along with the moon that never faltered.
Published 8th Jan 2013
| Edited 12th Jan 2013
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
8th Jan 2013 11:04am
This poem really has a good potential, however, the end is a bit surprising, the first stanza is great. after the sky that never faltered...
8th Jan 2013 11:54am
Yes agreed and thankyou for your comments
She was dead under the water
Awaiting discovery
Though it taxed me somewhat as to how to portray this.
Actually i feel you have helped in this..
To end it again as "with the moon that never faltered"
The mother bit il remove as was never satisfied with that line
She was dead under the water
Awaiting discovery
Though it taxed me somewhat as to how to portray this.
Actually i feel you have helped in this..
To end it again as "with the moon that never faltered"
The mother bit il remove as was never satisfied with that line
Anonymous
8th Jan 2013 4:00pm
You are welcome, glad that my words could be of help
15th Mar 2019 7:20am
15th Mar 2019 7:22am
