That One Time Life Punched Me in The Face

I had lost everything
my life turned into a really bad country song
Greek tragedies had been made from moments like this
anger was flowing through my blood
revenge was singing in my head
my fist were clenched
I was praying....
not to God
everything in me was boiling
I couldn't go home
well it was more like I shouldn't go home
but her I trusted, I thought of her like my sister
I knew I could never trust him and I didn't
but her...she was different

here's the lowdown.......

when we were 21 she had broken up with her boyfriend
she drank like three bottles of wine
and she popped a xanax she called me to come get her,
I did, we went to bright lights big cities house
he had some coke we did it we hung out for a bit
and then we left
she told me she wanted a bag of chips, Sun Chips
I went into the gas station got her the bag

when I got back in the car she was asleep
I said "here's you're chips"
she said "damn it you just woke me from the best dream"
she took the bag and I drove off
as I drove I noticed she was leaning forward
suspended by her seat belt  
I kept saying "Angie wake up" nothing
I pulled over and pushed her back
her eyes were open
I felt her chest she was not breathing

she was dead
I drove off and called her mom
and told her her daughter was not breathing
I was taking her to the hospital
I pulled over again and tried cpr
nothing....
I started heading down I 75 to Detroit receiving hospital
I was so nervous I wasn't watching the signs
I just followed the H's
well those stupid H's lead me to the veterans hospital
now I was freaking out my friend was dead next to me

your probably asking yourself why didn't I call 911
well we were in Detroit, ambulances don't respond fast enough
so I gathered myself and found Detroit receiving
thank the heavens for a doctor smoking outside
I pulled up in front and yelled
"my friend is dead she isn't breathing we need help"
he came over with his stethoscope and screamed "code blue"
people came out with the gurney and took her away

her mom got there she was crying so was I
she went to the front desk and gave her name
a doctor came out and grabbed Angie's mom's hand
he said " we are doing everything we can to resuscitate  
your daughter" the stunned look on her moms face was awful
the pain in her eyes was scary and sad
I felt horrible and like it was my fault

finally a doctor comes out he calls my name
I walk over slowly thinking the worst
he shakes my hand and calls me a hero
said I said her life, she finally responded to being
shocked with the paddles they said on they're last attempt
her heart started,
she had over dosed on wine xanax and the coke
my friend was alive, I could not wait to see her....

fast forward twelve years....

she moves in with me and my asshole husband
I work, a lot to much
I trust her so I leave without worry
I trust her so I leave them alone together all the time
my fault, I guess
her boyfriend was the nosy sort
always going through her phone, lucky me
he finds a bunch of text messages from her to him
and him to her, he tries showing me the phone
Angie tackles him gets her phone and runs into the bathroom
Eric her boyfriend is telling me he saw dirty texts
in her phone from my husband,
Angie is calling him a liar and my husband is just quiet
the only time he is quiet is when he is guilty

Angie and Eric fight outside I sit and think
Angie comes back in to reassure me Eric is a liar
my husband is still quiet, I'm no dummy
it was a lot to wrap my head around though
so I acted as if I bought the Eric is a liar story
the whole night was Eric this and Eric that
I was hurt but she claimed he was a liar
and she would never do such a dastardly thing
I had heard enough I had to work early
I went to sleep..fuck it

5:30 AM my phone is going off it is a bunch of texts,
its Eric he is sending me all the text Angie sent him
defending her self, admitting it all
I jump out of my bed in a rage
where is my husband? not in our room, not in the front room
the bathroom is open, not in there
one more place to check.....Angie's room
before I kicked the fucking door open, I listened
I hate myself for that, yuck fucking yuck
once I heard what I heard I started kicking the door
I hear Angie say "whats wrong" she opens the door
she is rubbing her eyes like she just woke up
I push her out of the way its a small room
only one place to look, the closet
I open the door and he is squatted down holding his pants

his face was already bracing for the hit,
my fists wouldn't be enough I scanned the room
a roller skate..I whacked him with it
blood was on the wall, then I turned my attention
to Angie, "you fucking whore" I kept saying that
I cornered her I was screaming in her face "how could you"
ya know what that bitch said,
"I cant help who I'm attracted to, Nick is really hot"
those words still play in my head.... the nerve of the bitch
"Nick is really hot" Oh my freaking stars
here's the thing, if I had had a gun, they both would be dead
I know it, I was foaming at the mouth I was sweating
and I was cold and shaking I was a person on the brink of
committing a murder..... premeditated

there was a lot of screaming and a lot of me spitting
and kicking and punching and spitting a lot of spitting
where I come from if you spit on someone it is worse
then hitting them, I kicked Nick out I made Angie
carry all his shit to curb, twelve years together
and I never saw him again after that day, it has been 4yrs
so many emotions, I missed him I blamed her I blamed him
I hated myself for trusting her I hated everything
I started being the biggest bitch ever and if you know
me you know that I'm already a bitch with a bad attitude
so being the biggest bitch ment everyone was a target
for my hate and anger

because of this situation I found myself regretting
saving her life, I would fantasize about her dieing that day
and how much better my life would be if I just didn't notice
she was dead in my passenger seat, I could have said I thought
she was drunk and passed out.... simple as that, if she had
died I would still have my best friend well in my heart anyway
now I spend my days bad mouthing her whenever I can :)
I can't believe I saved her life and she turns around
and ruins mine!!!
"I cant help who I'm attracted to, Nick is really hot"
(your supposed to say that in your best stupid bitch voice)
I can definitely say that is probably the most honest answer
anyone could have given, but come the fuck on..really?
total fat kid in the candy store, no self restraint are you kidding me?
I have given up on having woman for friends
they don't want tea and gossip, they want your clothes
or your man, shit sometimes they just want to destroy you
because your life seems better or your hair is longer
fucking hater ass woman,

maybe she did do me a favor by getting rid of that parasite
and ruining our friendship, maybe she didn't, either way
I find myself reliving both of those days over and over,
I tend to stop at forks in the road, looking for a demon to make a deal with,
or hoping for a little minion from hell to offer me the
chance to rewind time and kill her off, maybe I changed fate
maybe she was supposed to die that day and because
of my heroic efforts everything got fucked and I got fucked,
oh and cant forget that my husband got fucked by my bestie :)
I also purchased a couple of voodoo dolls online.....
complete and total bullshit, but what isn't these days?