deepundergroundpoetry.com
Hurt.
I've been going over
how shitty my life is and I guess
a lot of people would disagree
probably the kids starving in Africa
or maybe just the masturbatory middle class trying to save them for Jesus points
but you know I'm selfish
and my favorite past time
is turning tear into wine
So fuck it all to hell
especially that old white guy
who thinks I can shell out a few bucks
for a kid he never gave an actual fuck about
and my damn history professor telling me
my problems don't matter
because maybe
I'm not dried up in the desert
with a bullet in my spine
but goddamnit
I hurt.
how shitty my life is and I guess
a lot of people would disagree
probably the kids starving in Africa
or maybe just the masturbatory middle class trying to save them for Jesus points
but you know I'm selfish
and my favorite past time
is turning tear into wine
So fuck it all to hell
especially that old white guy
who thinks I can shell out a few bucks
for a kid he never gave an actual fuck about
and my damn history professor telling me
my problems don't matter
because maybe
I'm not dried up in the desert
with a bullet in my spine
but goddamnit
I hurt.
Written by
SychophanticSlag
Published 25th Dec 2012
| Edited 1st Oct 2019
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 18
reading list entries 3
comments 25
reads 1569
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Hurt.
who appropriate them
In an effort to make themselves feel better because they are uselessly lazy about lifting a meaningful finger, they condescendingly pass off everything except their own pain and leave you no better off; I do not apologize for them. I honor your intelligence in knowing that if you say it loud enough another heart will hear you and know you really mean it. And, damn it, Girl, I hear your pain.
In an effort to make themselves feel better because they are uselessly lazy about lifting a meaningful finger, they condescendingly pass off everything except their own pain and leave you no better off; I do not apologize for them. I honor your intelligence in knowing that if you say it loud enough another heart will hear you and know you really mean it. And, damn it, Girl, I hear your pain.
2
re: Re: Hurt.
26th Dec 2012 11:02am
Re: Hurt.
25th Dec 2012 11:12am
Everyone's personal pain is most important to them, ahead of some strangers. There's nothing selfish in that, it's just the way it is. Ice cream and chocolate fudge cake is a good pastime too :)
2
re: Re: Hurt.
26th Dec 2012 10:55am
Re: Hurt.
25th Dec 2012 6:13pm
re: Re: Hurt.
26th Dec 2012 10:51am
Re: Hurt.
26th Dec 2012 2:56pm
Re: Hurt.
27th Dec 2012 9:58pm
Thought Ben and Jerry's was an erotic allusion at first. Then can't find what a CWP teacher is in google.
Oh dear! This old Brit., who incidentally likes your write because you remind him of about 52 years ago, must pick up his game.
Blunt rude replies welcomed...
Oh dear! This old Brit., who incidentally likes your write because you remind him of about 52 years ago, must pick up his game.
Blunt rude replies welcomed...
1
re: Re: Hurt.
28th Dec 2012 8:41am
Re: Hurt.
29th Dec 2012 6:37am
"I'm not dried up in the dessert
with a bullet in my spine
but goddamnit
I hurt."
um.
Yes?
I don't think I'm going to bother explaining how perfect those last few lines were.
Seriously. Seriously.
with a bullet in my spine
but goddamnit
I hurt."
um.
Yes?
I don't think I'm going to bother explaining how perfect those last few lines were.
Seriously. Seriously.
1
re: Re: Hurt.
30th Dec 2012 4:52am
Re: Hurt.
30th Dec 2012 3:48am
I hate those fucking commercials.
Well done, Carla. There was such vibrancy in the anger, it was a beautiful shade of fuck-off.
(pastime, one word)
The details, they made it really come alive; the ice cream, the teacher, and I love that you acknowledge yourself as an equal in pain — death and destruction happens to everyone, every day, some of us get a bullet in the spine and some of us take small secrets sips from the hurt-flask, and the pain is no less.
Beautifully done.
B
Well done, Carla. There was such vibrancy in the anger, it was a beautiful shade of fuck-off.
(pastime, one word)
The details, they made it really come alive; the ice cream, the teacher, and I love that you acknowledge yourself as an equal in pain — death and destruction happens to everyone, every day, some of us get a bullet in the spine and some of us take small secrets sips from the hurt-flask, and the pain is no less.
Beautifully done.
B
1
Re: Hurt.
30th Dec 2012 11:52pm
Extremely important to say: "I hurt." Not, "it hurts," "we hurt," etc. I'm proud of you for admitting that. I hurt sometimes, too. But "going over how shitty my life is . . ." It's like there is you here (YOU) and your life over here (YOUR LIFE) and (YOU), or some little (or big or medium sized) thingee (YOUR LIFE) which (YOU) are examinining. That dualism is, sad to say, a false one for a billion and two-third's reasons: 1. You are your life. 2. Examining your life is only one function of you (YOU). I'm not trying to be harsh or hyper-critical, but if you are NOT your life who is? By the way, I liked the poem very much. You show controlled anger, emotional variety and poetical acuteness. Thanks for letting me read about your life. Really.
marcella1
marcella1
1
re: Re: Hurt.
7th Jan 2013 11:17pm
Re: Hurt.
4th Jan 2013 6:45am
You have demonstrated a talent for taking the personal and giving it a very readable structure in which a reader can easily empathize.
The object of the anger leaves me to speculate; it feels as if the source is actually frustration that attention isn't being given to the hurt?
The object of the anger leaves me to speculate; it feels as if the source is actually frustration that attention isn't being given to the hurt?
0
re: Re: Hurt.
7th Jan 2013 11:13pm
It's nice knowing my writing appeals to more than just myself.
it can be seen as that but basically I just don't like my pain being undermined because others have it worse. Not so much wanting attention but wanting personal pain to be accepted.
it can be seen as that but basically I just don't like my pain being undermined because others have it worse. Not so much wanting attention but wanting personal pain to be accepted.
Re: Hurt.
6th Jan 2013 9:20am
this holds a lot of motif that a lot of bukowski's work encompasses. this may be partly due to the fact that im half cut, regardless, its an honest splash in dirty water. nice.
1
.
10th Jan 2013 4:48am
"I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have." -Stephen Chbosky
I love the lines mentioned by others above, and the reductio ad absurdum desert/bullet image you pull out near the end. (spelling: pastime, desert)
I love the lines mentioned by others above, and the reductio ad absurdum desert/bullet image you pull out near the end. (spelling: pastime, desert)
0
re: .
15th Jan 2013 1:34am
Re: Hurt.
Anonymous
14th Jan 2013 1:45am
<< post removed >>
Re: Hurt.
22nd Jun 2013 3:07pm
I disagree that you are "selfish." Your poem is honest and apparently true. That's not "selfishness," it's courage. You write well. I don't think some of the words are necessary, like "fuck" and "goddammit." But they do show, like the rest of your poem, that you are "hurt" and angry about it. Good poem.
marcella1
marcella1
0
Re. Hurt.
8th Mar 2020 6:15pm