The One She Calls Her Father

She's relapsed again.
The sting is settling deep within.
Her vision blurred but, the crimson is still visible.
Her mind so defiant... So desolate..
So she wonders if she'll ever overcome this.

He told her he loved her, said he cared...
So they wonder how she feels so much pain..
How she's lost in an abyss of despair.
She sees so much more behind his blue eyes.
She knows his ways, she's remembered every lie.
Shes haunted by the memories of everytime he's left her to die.

He left her in his shadow..
Muffled her voice just to hear his own.
She chose to refrain from his path
Yet the urge to see him care burns her...
So she holds on.

She knows he's already gone
But, she can't let him go...
She just wants him to show affection.
Wants him to pull her from her darkness.

He's pushing her farther down
He stands there just to watch her drown.
She's found someone to pull her out but, he keeps choking her out.

She's haunted by the words he spoke.
"Fuck you, you insolent bitch!"
"Your no daughter of mine just another burden!"
His words so cold but actions colder.
And yet they wonder why she can't wait to be older.

He holds her down, tells her he loves her...
But those three words just makes her wonder.
If this is love why does it have to hurt?
If he loves her why does he have to hurt her?
Why does she always have to break...
Why can't he just leave so she'll want to live another day...

With her enigmas unanswered she stands there and screams in his ears
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING LOVE ME"
"WHY CAN'T YOU BE THE FATHER YOU PROMISED ME!"
"And just why... Why! Do you have to keep hurting me?"

Her voice crescendos, yet her words remain the same.
So he tunes her out, just looks the other way.
If her screams are to never be heard then maybe her actions can take there place.
So she sits there contemplating gazing at a blade...
She's taking control finding a way to escape the pain.
Maybe he'll know that this time he's to blame..
And her next few actions cannot be changed.
So she looks him in the eyes says, "I love you dad." One more time, and silences her pain of him just fading away.

She's relapsing again...
Getting high off a numb and painful Zen.
The crimson hidden behind her pale skin surfaces through..
She smears it, and draws another picture.
She's drawn it for him...
The one that broke her
The one that choked her
The one that leaves her over and over...
The one she calls her father.