it's so dark inside

I dared to touch the blackness
and it stared right back into me
put a shadow on my soul
and left me breathless on the floor

it’s there during the sleepless nights
like a void in the ceiling
pulling my soul upwards and into what might be
hell

the blue sky swims with eternity
and my heartbeat stamps down erratically
in my chest
telling me to just look away

and still I stare up into the void
wondering how it got there
wondering why I am here
and how do I get there

because it's not a place in the sky
it’s a place inside
wrapped around my sternum
that no knife can find
because I lack the courage to pierce the skin
push through muscle and screaming nerves
in an attempt to let it swallow me whole

so instead I stare at the mirror
and wonder at the flickering candle behind my eyes
waiting for the light to go out
wondering how I can be so alive
when there is a lone death inside
just waiting for the rest of my soul
to catch up
and let go
 
-Eve-