deepundergroundpoetry.com
It
worse
is that I tip toed
over the line
and felt it
same as
what rattled through
the tossed bones
of countless
other assholes
who couldn't describe it
but tried
and fuck you
if you think fame
or god or
love
is a part of it
it's success
and fuck you
if you think money's
involved
it's not
I am stuck now, engaged in a memory
of how it should be done
so I can't hide behind
the static observer
can't deny
it exists
can't craft phrase well enough
to pass off a fashion
a taste a
style
so
aesthetic had better wrap around the head of a bull
with weak knees
convinced it must run
to make this look good
I wish I had never felt it
but that shelter
has been blown to pieces
is that I tip toed
over the line
and felt it
same as
what rattled through
the tossed bones
of countless
other assholes
who couldn't describe it
but tried
and fuck you
if you think fame
or god or
love
is a part of it
it's success
and fuck you
if you think money's
involved
it's not
I am stuck now, engaged in a memory
of how it should be done
so I can't hide behind
the static observer
can't deny
it exists
can't craft phrase well enough
to pass off a fashion
a taste a
style
so
aesthetic had better wrap around the head of a bull
with weak knees
convinced it must run
to make this look good
I wish I had never felt it
but that shelter
has been blown to pieces
Published 13th Dec 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 14
reads 942
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
i've felt it too, and i get so much out of this write. every word is utilized and every piece of it is useful to what you're trying to say:
"it's success
and fuck you
if you think money's
involved
it's not" - this gave me the answer with crystal clarity (at least in my own interpretation); definitely has to be *your* definition of success, otherwise it's empty... that damned feeling of inadequacy in the light of "real" art or "real" beauty. you've got nothing to worry about, for what it's worth. loved this piece, LB. thrice. [:
"it's success
and fuck you
if you think money's
involved
it's not" - this gave me the answer with crystal clarity (at least in my own interpretation); definitely has to be *your* definition of success, otherwise it's empty... that damned feeling of inadequacy in the light of "real" art or "real" beauty. you've got nothing to worry about, for what it's worth. loved this piece, LB. thrice. [:
13th Dec 2012 9:30am
It feels like it's worth a ton.
Really couldn't have asked for a better comment, sheds a bit of my doubts.
Much appreciated Jesta, thank you
Really couldn't have asked for a better comment, sheds a bit of my doubts.
Much appreciated Jesta, thank you
13th Dec 2012 11:23am
Hmmmmm
When my kids were young, I took it upon myself to be a "Writer". While I got published a fair amount in newspapers, and magazines,( always being told by some editor what I needed to change to make it truly "commercial" ) what I made money doing was working as a baker, and writing crap poetry for "clearing houses" (That is where greeting cards get their shit from.)
If you are chasing "fame" that is what you are dealing with.
I decided I was happier chasing words. :)
Get this on many levels. :)
When my kids were young, I took it upon myself to be a "Writer". While I got published a fair amount in newspapers, and magazines,( always being told by some editor what I needed to change to make it truly "commercial" ) what I made money doing was working as a baker, and writing crap poetry for "clearing houses" (That is where greeting cards get their shit from.)
If you are chasing "fame" that is what you are dealing with.
I decided I was happier chasing words. :)
Get this on many levels. :)
13th Dec 2012 11:56am
Dig it Maggie, glad this was gotten for you.
Yeah its a weird gig, I got really caught up in the art world and its chase, with painting. The clever, witty motherfuckers sneak right on by without passion, while over abundant passion can lead to lack of discipline. Luckily my head exploded, and it just so happens a pen was near by. And honestly i'm better with a brush than a pen, but I believe anything important can be found with either...bit of a tangent
But yeah, I think this "it" is something all of has felt to some extent (you know it when there is no return ticket) and is so very solid yet so abstract.
Long story short, thank ya kindly
Yeah its a weird gig, I got really caught up in the art world and its chase, with painting. The clever, witty motherfuckers sneak right on by without passion, while over abundant passion can lead to lack of discipline. Luckily my head exploded, and it just so happens a pen was near by. And honestly i'm better with a brush than a pen, but I believe anything important can be found with either...bit of a tangent
But yeah, I think this "it" is something all of has felt to some extent (you know it when there is no return ticket) and is so very solid yet so abstract.
Long story short, thank ya kindly
Anonymous
13th Dec 2012 1:11pm
It matters. All of it. Nice wr(it)e lb.
Strider.
Strider.
13th Dec 2012 1:26pm
Matters as much as matter is gonna matter I spose.
Thank you much my friend
Ps. I saw what you did there with the wr(it)e
Thank you much my friend
Ps. I saw what you did there with the wr(it)e
13th Dec 2012 2:09pm
lb
well fuck critique. i can always come back
later for a word or two.
in another telepathic miracle, you wrote
this while i fought and tried too hard
to birth it.
and i like this a lot better.
probably one of the poems that would
keep you alive in my head for long.
trust me.
almost felt a strange something when
i read about the head of the bull.
moloch! moloch! moloch!
power to you my poet friend,
sumeet
p.s- i will be back. should be.:]
well fuck critique. i can always come back
later for a word or two.
in another telepathic miracle, you wrote
this while i fought and tried too hard
to birth it.
and i like this a lot better.
probably one of the poems that would
keep you alive in my head for long.
trust me.
almost felt a strange something when
i read about the head of the bull.
moloch! moloch! moloch!
power to you my poet friend,
sumeet
p.s- i will be back. should be.:]
13th Dec 2012 4:47pm
Nice.
Well of course, many thank you's
This one here tug at me a bit, had this almost crystal clear sense of what I wanted, but couldnt for the life of me find a phrase for it...kept running through stupid metaphors, and really spent the longest time just opening this thing up. Simplified and tried writing around what I wanted instead of at it.
The bull thing was exactly how the momentum felt at that point and it felt like a do or die moment..the bull felt like the biggest risk, so im super glad to hear that it worked for you
Again thanks man..glad to hear youre dreaming well(winky eyed "knowing" smile thing)
Well of course, many thank you's
This one here tug at me a bit, had this almost crystal clear sense of what I wanted, but couldnt for the life of me find a phrase for it...kept running through stupid metaphors, and really spent the longest time just opening this thing up. Simplified and tried writing around what I wanted instead of at it.
The bull thing was exactly how the momentum felt at that point and it felt like a do or die moment..the bull felt like the biggest risk, so im super glad to hear that it worked for you
Again thanks man..glad to hear youre dreaming well(winky eyed "knowing" smile thing)
13th Dec 2012 4:45pm
13th Dec 2012 4:52pm
Hot damn girl, that right there is big ol smile comment!
Seriously, I thank you through this big grimace
Seriously, I thank you through this big grimace
14th Dec 2012 00:51am
14th Dec 2012 1:46am
Anonymous
15th Dec 2012 3:54pm
I have no comment as this piece speaks for itself. A true gem, Lightbaron. Thank you for the read;)
15th Dec 2012 6:45pm
