laughing buddha

 
imagining if life were to be a movie  
that could be watched later on  
one of those things sans a  
pause button where you  
simply play rush stop it  
i was yanked and then  
fast forward five years  
 
driven to a private school  
in a blue ambassador by a  
dour man six days a week  
polished creasefree shiny  
i was the prince richer  
than everyone in class  
or probably whole school  
more spoilt pampered loved than  
any kid would ever possibly want  
just about had everything except  
something to lose a few scars  
a couple of cuts and not to  
forget any of those  
nightmares demons  
issues or reasons  
to cry  
 
hence believed i was different  
and truly meant to have  
a beautiful blissful life  
 
ah those childhood dreams whims  
come tickle strangle on nights  
when empty bottles roll in  
adamant half circles that  
never get completed and  
the roof keeps caving in  
cinéma vérité style  
 
and my only defense on  
such nights is that same  
old sicksweet smile that  
all of them have loved  
lovers haters strangers  
the kind you would  
exude in front of  
a nazi death squad  
in bright pastel  
joker outfits