friends of convenience

all my new friends are bad for me
and I'm doing things because they're there to do
not because I really want to

I know you’re bad for me
tempting me into madness because you can
because I care to fall
and run wild through the streets
just because I can

I'm an empty vessel that wants to be filled up
with whatever seems to be hanging around

I want to fuck and write and mumble
my hate to the world in fiery whispers
burning from the tip of my cigarette
that I’ll put out on the hood of your car
that set the scene for all our foreplay

I love you and I hate you
and you’re nothing to me  

if you touch me again
I’ll disappear into the loveless night
because I refuse to stay
in your sordid bed that’s good for nothing
more than debauched poetry

tonight my bed is empty
my heart as full
the music turned up loud
and I don’t miss you at all
or every other hand that’s pushed me screaming
over into the abyss of hollow pleasures

I only ever wished for you, for anyone
to mean something more than a fleeting gesture of lust
though I don’t believe in love
when I burn with the desire to set alight
everything and anything
that sets my heart to feel

-Eve-