The Burglars' party

This is a bit of a daft one for Christmas!

T’was the night before Christmas and all round the houses,
Not a burglar was thieving, not even the Scouses,
For they’d gone to a party were all booze was free,
Plus crack cocaine, weed and the wild ecstasy,

There were prostitutes there for these villains nefarious,
Everyone catered for gay, straight and various,
As the twelfth hour struck a whistle blew shrill,
And they were surrounded by loads of Old Bill,

‘Got yer you bastards, this was our great plan,’
They cuffed ‘em and stuffed ‘em head first in the van!
To beat Manchester coppers you have to be slick,
Merry Christmas you arseholes, you’ll spend it in Nick!


Non Brits note: 'Old Bill' is a slang name for the cops, Scouses or Scousers are citizens of Liverpool)