Men? I Haven't Seen Any of Those In Years

Last night 5:30 am
I get a phone call
its other Andy

apparently he has a flat
on I75, he has the tire
he has the jack and tire iron

yet,he doesn't know what he is doing
I get out of bed
get dressed

I head down the freeway
thinking about my grandpa
he is the one who taught me to change a tire

his exact words were
"there is a new breed of useless men
being born, your gonna need to know how to do this"

he was right
this "new breed" of men
suck

if it was 1952
this phone call wouldn't of happened
other Andy would have known how to do this

men stopped being men
a while ago
they are all so feminine

so dainty
worried about getting their manicured hands dirty
it grosses me out

where the hell are those burly sons of bitches
the ones who could take down a tree with an axe
the ones who know how to build a fucking house

now we got dudes wearing skinny jeans?
what the fuck is up with that?
they even have skinny jeans that are baggy in the butt

tight everywhere else?
if I can tell you have four dimes in your right pocket
and your "package" isn't visible, something is wrong with that

I want a man
yes a hairy fucker
who can swing an axe

I want a tough guy
filled with testosterone
who wears jeans that fit comfortably

I want a man who's a man
he has a dick, not some genetic mutation
I like to call a pussy roll

some people want to know where the good woman are
well they are busy being men
cause someone has to be strong and reliable

I taught other Andy how to change that tire
I pumped about 20cc's of man back into him
all in a nights work for a strong independent woman