finding hearts in storm clouds

There’s a freedom in the breakdown of past relationships
to know that we are truly free
that we loved with all our hearts and couldn’t have done anything better

It is strange to see you cry for her, like maybe you once cried for me
while I packed my heart in ice and sunk beneath the ground
in the hope that I would survive the pain of the ending

Awake again, I realise love never truly dies
it just changes hands and moves like the clouds above
morphing and changing and moving on
raining down upon another’s heart
in the hope it will find something there worth pooling into

I’m a muddy puddle of regrets and longing
though I wouldn’t change a thing
because I always knew we were never meant to be
and we held onto the highs and lows of those emotions
like addicts saying “one more hit”

And me, well I’ve never been good at endings
my anxiety burns through my empty veins
and I wonder in dark sleepless moments
if I will ever find my way into someone else’s heart
and if they will love me like you did
only better

I’m a mass of past mistakes that haunt me
because I can say now, that I was wrong and that you’re right to move on
and into another’s heart

I was never the one, though I wanted to be
and you and me, we’re too alike to be compatible
our love like a tidal wave – high and intense
but ultimately meant to fall and fail and crash
leaving destruction behind to scar our already fragile psyches

We burned too brightly and stand here now in the ashes of the past
and your words, “I don’t love you anymore, not like that”
they set me free
to look forward to less tortured days
and the hope that love is like a cloud

All I have to do now is seek out the rain

© Indie Adams 2012