You caught me unawares as I knelt to say my prayers,
I was just a little kid and what you did,
Stayed with me throughout the years,
Canít be expunged with a million tears.
Why? What did I do
Was I bad to you?
You put your penis in my mouth,
ďSuck you little fuck!Ē
You shoot your gout,
I want to shout, to spit it out,
You close my nostrils, make me swallow,
Iím dead inside, I feel so hollow.
You tell me not to tell my mother
Or youíll do it to my little brother,
I hold my peace.
You haunt me nightly in my dreams,
And deep within me my soul screams,
Still I hold my peace, no release, will it ever cease?
Why do you do it? I am your niece!
The years pass by and I cannot ease the guilt and shame I feel,
Will it ever heal?
Iím filled with rage from this early age and turn upon myself,
Take the razor from the shelf,
Place its edge upon my arm, feeling no alarm,
I cut because Iím a dirty slut, guilty! I tempted you I must have done, I must have done,
But if I die you will have won,
So I slash lightly not too deep,
And then I cry myself to sleep.
Now I have a daughter of my own,
Leave her alone! Leave her alone,
To protect her I find the courage to say,
What you did to me on many a day.
My husband listens, shocked disbelief,
Lost in grief,
Tears cascading down his face,
He burns with shame at my disgrace,
My tormentor now is locked away,
Oh joyful day, oh joyful day!
I now have help I talk it through,
And if this has ever happened to you,
Tell and send the pain away, a teacher, parent, trusted friend,
Tell and bring it to an end,
Tell and make this person halt,
Darling child itís not your fault.