Solo

no token blowjob this year
for my birthday
but no longer the pain
of pretending I exist
in an established universe

prefer to flail my arms
into the uncertainty of nothing
with only a small possibility of tickling
something new into excitement
than to bide my time in security
where lips only get wet
to honor anniversary

most of my birthdays
require abundant lubrication
to pad the fall from expectation
but one of these years possibility
will appear in fishnets
she'll have a friend
they will sing to the loss of morals
and we will sweat calories into the famished unknown