where home is?

Home is a place I’ve never been    
a feeling I’ve never felt as I was dragged across this vast continent    
like a gypsy whose companions were also her captors    
   
The idea of home and family is empty and lonely    
so unlike the Disney movies I wasn’t raised on  
no video collection on our shelves    
everything I learnt about the world    
came from books    
if nothing else, they taught me to hope    
for better days    
   
Home is something I felt while stoned    
at 25, watching a Jon Lajoie video on youtube    
déjà vu, Montreal, maybe? I can’t be sure  
I’ve never been there in this life    
but it felt as familiar to me as my skin    
if not more so  
and set my heart on fire  
because I too had seen this distant world    
within my dreams    
   
Home is not a place    
it’s a feeling    
that I remember all too clearly in my heart    
and I don’t know if I will ever get to go home    
I don’t know if I will ever again feel    
what it is to be lit up like a Christmas tree    
with magic in my lungs, seeping deep into my bones  
where I am warm and safe and content    
   
© Indie Adams 2012