Through the Bonnie Bonnie Bars of Barlinnie

 
Ever expect the worst
and it was worse
than you expected?
I was obviously inept
at expecting the worst.

I reluctantly visited a jail or two
on my way down the tail of youth
but no divinity voiced any warnings
for the days that would come.

She visited unexpectedly,
so unexpected that I nearly denied the visit
but she came a long way
and I'd seen enough mutilated faces
to convince any sane man that this was a zoo.

Could see she was traumatised
just from the waiting room.
It's my fault she's sitting, surrounded
by beings as rough as Adam
with centuries of humanity shitting on them.

She was a pale mouse
scurrying through the rat-eyed clusters
to eventually find me.
No hug, no kisses
just a sharp hello without eye-contact.
Too disturbed by her surroundings.

It became clear straight away
that I had to spend the visit rescuing her,
when her intention was to rescue me
just for an hour.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed
just hard enough for her to look forward
and nowhere else.
I forced a confident voice
down her ears, told her:

A bird still flies when its eyes are closed
and when it's grounded
it can't be a bird anymore,
it's gotta bark and show it's teeth
and you know my teeth don't break.
They know this too.
They stared at you 'til you sat here.
Look. Look around. Nobody's watching.

And they weren't.
All too busy sprinkling salt-water,
making sure they're not homeless when they leave.

She squeezed my hand
confidently.
Reassured me that everything will be ok
told me I'm a strong man, it's over soon.

Told her she's right,
that she's the desert's rain.

Her eyes became two lochs
swelling in the dim dusk
with two lovers swimming
numb and naked;
arm in arm.

She poured out the door with the rest
the key turning to set her free
and I, through mine.
Back to the junkie-warriors.

My hand smells of her vanilla wrist;
I lay back, eyes shut
with my hand to my nose
and picture her lochs
knowing the lovers die before I go
home
but for now, they swim
numb and naked;
arm in arm.

The key turned and set her free.