deepundergroundpoetry.com

anticipation

Most of the shock in a slap isnít the way a hand hits a face
itís that we donít always see it coming  
 
It doesnít feel quite the same when it comes with a warning label  
because there is time to flinch
turn your face  
clench your jaw
reel backwards  
though I guarantee it still hurts  
 
Someone once informed me that I was a weapon  
though if memory is anything to go by
I hit harder and lower than a back hand to the face  
 
Iíll never erase those memories I canít quite look at
though they are there for the viewing
if I only I had the courage to turn my rage inwards
and attack myself with a two-by-four  
and relive every blow I executed with precision  
 
Trouble is  
I havenít been able to look at myself in the mirror
for a very long time  
without losing my expression to grief  
and regret and words I know I canít say  
because sorry isnít big enough  
and forgiveness is a foreign entity  

Most of the shock in a slap isnít the way a hand hits a face
itís that we donít always see it coming  
 
Itís time to turn my face towards the sun
because this one is going to hurt


© Indie Adams 2012
Indie
Written by Indie (Miss Indie)
Published | Edited 30th Oct 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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