The state of mind that drugs put us in, is so bad you might as well be in a slumber. You're almost unaware of the results of your actions, and when you're "awoken" reality hits you. I completely understand what you've written, and I've been there myself. Just know that it gets better.
This is in 2005 :-) I have completely moved on from that time in my life. My body will never be the same, but it could have been worse. In certain instances, I don't regret certain drug use, like carefully planned out acid trips in nature.