deepundergroundpoetry.com
in the light of the rising sun
I saw you today for the first time
and I realised all these years
I’ve been wrong
In your gaze I found something
I hadn’t seen before
nameless and choked
and honest
I want to be the woman you see
because in your eyes I am beautiful
and something more
than I’ve ever dared to dream
I can’t explain
the storm in my ribcage
or the tear-stained smile on my face
or the way our silence wraps me in its warm embrace
I can’t say the words
I fear you’re wanting to hear
But I can say
I was wrong all these years
and I’m sorry it took so long
to see the sunrise
hidden in your eyes
© Indie Adams 2012
and I realised all these years
I’ve been wrong
In your gaze I found something
I hadn’t seen before
nameless and choked
and honest
I want to be the woman you see
because in your eyes I am beautiful
and something more
than I’ve ever dared to dream
I can’t explain
the storm in my ribcage
or the tear-stained smile on my face
or the way our silence wraps me in its warm embrace
I can’t say the words
I fear you’re wanting to hear
But I can say
I was wrong all these years
and I’m sorry it took so long
to see the sunrise
hidden in your eyes
© Indie Adams 2012
Published 9th Oct 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 3
comments 17
reads 893
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The author encourages honest critique.
9th Oct 2012 11:02pm
10th Oct 2012 8:21am
Anonymous
9th Oct 2012 11:41pm
<< post removed >>
10th Oct 2012 8:23am
lol, thank you very much Gabriel, your lovely feedback is much appreciated. I only, lol, because I never actually thought I'd see the day that I'd write something romantic. I'm glad it words. xD
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
9th Oct 2012 11:59pm
You seem to write with such ease and so tasteful.
I really love how you depict the emotion:
I can’t explain
the storm in my ribcage
I love the apology; it;s so heartfelt and warm:
I’m sorry it took so long
to see the sunrise
hidden in your eyes
A stunning piece of art you have written...Thanks for sharing!
I really love how you depict the emotion:
I can’t explain
the storm in my ribcage
I love the apology; it;s so heartfelt and warm:
I’m sorry it took so long
to see the sunrise
hidden in your eyes
A stunning piece of art you have written...Thanks for sharing!
10th Oct 2012 8:24am
Thank you very much ryteoutlet for your lovely feedback :D very much appreciated, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
10th Oct 2012 00:14am
10th Oct 2012 8:25am
10th Oct 2012 6:56am
how beautiful :) i like the part of
"I’m sorry it took so long
to see the sunrise
hidden in your eyes"
"I’m sorry it took so long
to see the sunrise
hidden in your eyes"
10th Oct 2012 8:25am
Thank you very much Anaya in HD :D I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Your comment is much appreciated.
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
11th Oct 2012 4:03am
11th Oct 2012 4:10am
Thank you very much Fallen Poet for your lovely comment. It's much appreciated :D glad you enjoyed.
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
2nd Nov 2012 8:15am
2nd Nov 2012 8:54am
4th Dec 2013 8:08pm
Good read! And,and? ;( Cap's but? ;( simple grammar that tears a good poem to bits... elementy changes
4th Dec 2013 10:46pm
Thank you very much for your feedback. I've developed a writing style since joining DU that doesn't adher to the traditional literary style. It's a personal preference, which I prefer to keep, finding more freedom in the flow which comes from it.
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
5th Dec 2013 4:21pm
We must stay true oneself! Tho as a writer you must remember that ultimately we are in fact enduring this process for the reader. Whom follow tradition grammar rules when translating pro's n poems. Readers don't know you break rules in spite... we can only read what is or isn't there and assess the relevance of the author and his/her words...
