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he knows not what he has done

sitting here amongst the broken dreams
like sitting atop the smoldering myre
dead and gone are the whispered promises of forever
i guess i could have foreseen had i not been in a coma
of self induction i needed you and you left me alone
i cant believe that this has even occured my heart still aches
i waited and waited for you to come back through that door
but alas my best friend my knight in shining armor
wheres my soldier my rider best friend and confidant
the one i tell the truth to  the one i thought knew me better than i knew myself
the one who cried for the love of his dead father and the love of his brothers
the one who was lost and felt he had no home confiding in me easily
a comfort hed not found with any other  or so he claimed
he reeled me in easily with a sexy grin and fire lit amber eyes
he wrapped me up tightly in him so id never leave and once he had my total trust
he stole everything i had left both monetarily and emotionally
leaving me to piece it all together like some uneducated little girl
i went into this union eyes wide shut now im in a flattening ditch
im at war in my head at war in the mirror at war with every other humans happiness
i feel anger dismay shock and disbelief it wrecks my mind to think of all the ugliness he spat as he cuddled me and whispered forever after one and the same
now he acts acts as if he barely remembers my name why do grown mother fuckers still play head games ive tried to make sense of this senseless act of pure hatred
what did i do to deserve this why has karma relieved me of my every belonging
am i to be stripped and rebuilt emotionally maybe i too have only just begun
to adapt to the fact that im meant for a lifetime alone i am of the mind that ive been done in so severely that i must have some pennance  that i most assuredly paid with this one in triplicate how can no concience not show how did i not know
im neither new or a mark so how did he fool me coulda been the clouded thinking coulda been alot i guess ill never know the truth cause hell never tell me
all he seems capable of is lies and destruction well i have no time for more bullshit in
any guise ill never ever let anyone in like i let him again ill remember no man is my friend they lie cheat beat and pretend then they fuck your friends so as i ponder just where love goes when it tears one soul in half and shatters one love drunk fools
ideals ripping the very fabric of my time as it stands completely still i wait the heavens final answer what for and why must i go through this turmoil my place father i know will be worth my pain in this life there is nothing i cant survive thanks to you father for strength at this my darkest hour father hold me for this has knocked my will to the dirt and my ability to hold myself up amen please god even as i pray to hate him protect him for he knows not what he has done
Written by diablia363 (Alisha Ranstrom)
Published
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