Wanna Lose Ten Pounds of Ugly Fat?

 
!chop off your fucking head!


And in other news....


A friend popped bye
I showed him my apocalypse backpack
and all my goodies
swiss army knives
lighters
protein bars
anti-biotic
aspirin
motrin
a few comic books
bag Of weed   (doubt that will last)
zig-zags
bullets for a gun I don't have
a bunch of little flashlights
silver warming blanket
first aid kit

I'm almost done showing him everything
when he says this backpack is all wrong
your missing the essentials

apparently Josh knows best
he must of gotten A job with the state
at the department of proper packing for the apocalypse

we decide to head to the dirt mall
the gun and knife show is in town
josh and I speed down I94

We pay two dollars to get in
best two dollars I ever spent
at the dirt mall you can find anything

we hit up the booth with a cardboard Rambo first
this guy has knives for any occasion
we buy the survival bowie blade

its freaking awesome and its huge!
we get a free belt holder! score!
next we go towards canteens

they have a canteen that is Ted Nugents face!
sold to the lady with apocalyptic backpack
no freaking way I was going to pass that up

Josh was right
I need this stuff
we were looking around when I heard Josh squeal

he comes running over with a gas mask
says its NATO approved
CHA-CHING yep bought it

we have to be the coolest people at the dirt mall
bowie blade on my hip,my Ted Nugent canteen slung around me
and my gas mask on my head

before we leave we decide to stop back at the Rambo booth
we get the dude to sell us the cardboard Rambo
we head to the car

Josh sits in the back
Rambo called shot gun
I wore my gas mask the whole way home

What's in your apocalyptic backpack?