kiss me hello

I woke slowly,
battered inside
in time with the headboard,
which knocked
an inch-deep groove
in the wall
from our latest round
of goodbye

and as I caught the sight of you
silently putting on your shoes
sun playing off the
highlights in your
hair
I jolted awake,
but stayed still,

watched the door quietly open
then quietly close.
 
I sat up,
the sheet to my chest
as I turned
to watch you leave

as if
hiding my body
could hide from
your absence

half of me wants to
stay trapped to this spot
so that I can sigh into your
weight on the side of the bed
and the feel of your hand
tracing the curve of my ass
as I purr beneath you

soft, pretty, delicate,
(the way you like me)

so that you can hurt me
(the way I like you to)

the other half wants to
put on the red fuck-me heels
and the black fuck-you skirt
and make you hunt me down
in a local wine bar
engaged in erudite conversation
in a corner by the piano
my hand on a another's thigh
laughing a little too loudly

and a movement in the corner
of my eye snaps my attention
to where you'd stand
framed in the doorway,
so fucking sexy
that I have to
hide behind
the oversized glass
and pretend like my
hands didn’t
shake
at the sight of you

you'd place your hand
the small of my back
and lead me out

hard, bitchy, cold
(the way you like me)

so that you can
(hurt me)
kiss me hello

the way I want you to.