Of Ancient Passages: Chapter 7: To Where the Road May Take

When I awake, I feel a powerful throbbing in my head. I hope we leave early, maybe sometime time in the gloaming hours. Though the jade structures awe me, they hold something frightening. There is something odd almost alien about them. Not similar to anything I have ever seen. Granted I have not seen much but it is more than that a feeling.

Not even the monoliths can dampen my spirits. I crave to see more of the world I had only heard about. Giddy me, but who can blame me. As I awake completely in my warm sleeping bag, I notice D’ereen’s is empty. However, she is not gone. Someone is behind me snuggling tightly.

Her body is warm next to mine. Again, I ponder why she feels so strongly for me but stalker says my common sense.  Or was it just her gratitude for awakening her from her prison? Questions, questions, questions flooding about and hiding real answers. Does she really mean she loves me? I seem to recall something for a moment but it escapes me.

I pull her arms apart escaping. Navigating as best I can; away from my sleeping bag to the still burning fire. There is a chill wind in the early air. My body is all the better for its refreshing effects. My eyes want to sneak a peek at her sleeping body. Though I may, I do not.

As I force my eyes away, I see The Tree of Erya. I have heard stories about such a tree. Even from here, I can almost make out the letters hanging from its veins. People gather there for answered prayers, so I have heard. For the goddess Erya answers but only in small matters.  I would like to see such a tree. Not on this trip though, who knows what D’ereen would ask for.

As my ears adjust to the quiet, I hear panting noises. The implication of her love bubbling back into my subconscious. I pick up a large piece of wood and set it on the fire. The embers stir up into the air. The wood catches quickly. I hear stirring noises.

We soar a couple miles until a city comes into view. Alunda calls it Folst. We descend down near it. Alunda gives D’ereen his cloak and she pulls down the hood low over her face. We cross the ramp towards the portcullis, which I must say now is not closed. Many people pass through.

I can see some of the city. It is so much bigger than Meda. The grandeur and layout is surprising. Minarets loom behind sharp cornered buildings. Graceful statues with bowed heads stand somber and immortalized in marble. Sleek, sloped styled palaces with high roofs look down on cottages. I cannot wait to enter and see it all.

Two guards halt them. “I am sorry for the inconvenience; this is a random security check. What business do you have here?” The left guard asks.

Alunda speaks up. “We wish to get some supplies, maybe stay a night or two then go on our way.”

The right guard speaks. He looks more brutish than the other fellow does. “I do not like the look of you old man. Unfamiliar people are not welcome. I want to see your faces come closer. Keep your hands where I can see them.”

We walk forward. Both of them get closer still. They are very close to us. I can smell the brutish one. He is worse to look at up close. In fact, he much reminds me of a warthog.

He gets inches from me. “A whelp.” Next, he went to Alunda. “A greying fool and….” His voice catches in his throat as he looks at her. Fear removing his calm demeanor.

“What’s wrong?” The other guard asks.

His companion pulls back pointing at her, his lips try to form words but nothing comes out. His friend yells at her to pull up her hood. D’ereen pulls her hood down farther. The less frightened guard comes over and yanks the hood away. This makes him loose his voiceless scream, they both step back now, afraid, as I had been afraid. Was I wrong to think so terrible of her?

Rage bubbles in me. They should know better. “How dare you! What gives you the right to judge so hastily?”

“Don’t be foolish boy.” The warthog guard says. “Why do you walk with this creature?”

They are the foolish ones. “It is my choice.”

“You’re human as is the old man.” Says the other.

“Don’t compare me to yourself.” Alunda says.

“You both deserve to die, betrayers of your race, say I. Get going, you will not poison or city with your talk.” He fingers his weapon.

“No wait Corvus, let us grab her. We can kill her. Her kind all deserve to die.” They both move forward.

No, they will not. “Get back! Come no farther.” Says me.

“Hold on!” Alunda says, they do not listen. He conjures a ball of flame in his hand. Now they look to him. “Would you threaten wizard friends?”

“A magician. He is too much for us.” The warthog shows his colors.

“J-just leave.” Corvus says.

So we leave. That night around the campfire is quiet. D’ereen’s pride and nature were all snubbed out in one blind act of cruelty. She does not speak, her eyes focus on the fire, somewhere else. Sadness works in her as it works in me. The look in her eyes is full of defeat.

I more than anyone know her pain, Sol the broken and D’ereen the rejected. How long did she remain in that coffin? I guess she is more like me then I thought anyone could be. It makes my heart kind of light to know that. That someone can know something so personal about me. I do not dare tell her aloud all my sorrow but know I know she knows in some way.

She shudders and wraps her arms about herself. I take my sleeping bag and put it around her. She smiles sparingly. Her eyes meet mine and I can see the pain melt away. We are so close. In darkness, she is unnaturally mesmerizing. As I look at her, I realize how beautiful she really is.

We are uncomfortably close. My heart beats heavy in my chest. She smiles a little more. I smiles back and surprise her. She turns away as if she remembers something else. Something very haunting, I can see it take over her demeanor.

I have to say something. “Why don’t you walk with your people?”
She is reluctant to speak but she does after a moment of thought. “I can’t stay sad with you around can I?”

“No you cannot.”

“I hate my people and they hate me, especially my mother. Such a violent people. They taught me enough and I learned the rest on my own.” The sadness lingers faintly. “Will you stay with me ‘till I fall asleep? Please.”

I want to say no but how can I. A stray tear trickles down her cheek. So I nod and watch as her head rests in my lap. Wish I can tell her to get off but I cannot.  I lay back and stare at the stars. I look at her and she looks relaxed and peaceful. She is unique, one of a kind. I have to say her company gives me some peace of mind.

Imagine that one-problem males have in the morning and it will perfectly identify my situation. Still unsure if I mean what you think I mean? Think again. The BIGGEST problem is having someone lying face down in your crotch. Asleep or no, it is still embarrassing. If she wakes up in this particular situation, I will just die.

Luckily, for me I pushed her off before she can wake up. She got up soon after. I will not tell her what happened. Imagine me telling her that. Of course, she would probably have liked it. Even if she were awake, she would love the idea. That is just too much.

“Come over here Sol.” Alunda sits some ways off.

I walk over and sit next to him. “What’s up?”

“Today’s first lesson, close your eyes.”

I do so. “Okay what am I doing?”

“Just pay attention. The laws of nature can be broken, bent and manipulated. Nature is more than just an idea, more than just, what is around you. The sooner you learn this, the better of a magician you will make. Now feel it let it envelop you. Start by taking deep breaths, nice and slow.”

I start by taking deep breaths just as he said to do. A blanket of black surrounds me. It feels very natural now. Something warm feels like it is coursing through me. It pumps in my skin and out of my pores. It feels good, meant to be.

“Do you feel that?” Alunda asks.

“Yes I do.”

“It means you have the ability to be a wizard. It is what all apprentices are taught. A first in a wide world of more.”
It lasts like this with many simpler tutoring. We take flight some time later. Nighteye reaches Tanli Harbor around midday. We hurry as much as we can behind D’ereen’s easy running. We reach the dock with its many ships and smaller vessels. I ships look so big.

“Wow the water is so blue.” I cannot believe it.

“Oh right. I am very use to it. I have forgotten what it is like for others.” Alunda says.

“It is amazing.” D’ereen adds.

“I have seen The Wishing Shore a few times but it is nothing like this.” This makes it all worth it.

The people we meet will see D’ereen and think it bad luck to have her on their ships. I just cannot understand it. What is the big deal? Like everyone else they downtrodden her. Does no one think any other way? Is everyone like this?

I feel a rough tap on my shoulder. A large man stands over me. He must be at least six to seven feet tall, with a beard as golden as his dreadlocks. His dreadlocks come down to his shoulders. There is a slouch in his stance. It lets his dreadlocks hang down even more.  

“A dwerger not underground, strange.” Alunda says.

“Not so strange for me.” His voice booms. “Are you looking for a ship?”

“Yes.” I move in front of D’ereen.

He saw what I am protecting. He leans forward looking straight at her. Surprised he walks away. “Try to hide her from me.”

We are desperate. “Wait, can’t you help us? You are like her. You must have been taunted about your height. At least once, in your life they must have done this to you. I vouch for this woman.”

He comes back eyes burning with contempt. “Don’t EVER mention height to me again.”

Then he turns and walks away. He is not going to come back. I had ruined our chances with an accidental insult. Our hope of a ship dies with me I am such a fool. I do not deserve to be a wizard. Do not deserve to be anything more than what I am, nothing.

The dwerger stops in his tracks. He does not turn around or twist his head. “I admire your courage for standing up for your friend. Come along we depart immediately.”

Smiles spread across our faces. Alunda chuckles secretly under his beard. Maybe I was wrong to doubt myself. It can be okay. The worst part is over we had found a ship, what luck. Now it is smooth sailing.

He led us to a huge ship. It must be a galleon; I had seen pictures of them. This is so much more. To see one clear as day and tangible before me is more exciting. I can smell the wood and see the sails flapping in the wind. To see the ship before us rock back and forth on the water.

Something about seeing the muzzle faces of cannons is exciting and frightening. They glare about from the gun deck and peak out for any moments use. As we moved along, I see the front with its long beak. Or what looks to me like a beak. We climb aboard where men hustle about, carrying boxes and moving about the ship. Making sure everything is ready to go, I guess.

He swings his arms out. “Welcome aboard the Bearded Lady. I am your captain Cegemuht.”

His crew are not the friendliest to look at. They stop and stare at us as their Captain introduces us. Small shrieks leave there lips as they see D’ereen. Even people who have seen much fear her race. How common were they to see? The answer is obvious and I do not know why I asked it.

“Meet my first mate.” Cegemuht said, calling for someone.

Another dwerger comes lumbering over. His head is bald and his beard is brown. His teeth are made of wood. It gives me an unpleasant feeling to look at them. As if at any moment, he might chomp too hard and they might splinter. Aside from this, his clothes are ragged, ripped in certain places, worn to near uselessness.

He grinds his teeth when he talks. “Captain we don’t need useless hands on this ship.”

“Where do you want to go?” Asks the Captain.

“To Al Aagoon of the Forgotten Isles. If it is not beyond your reach.” Says Alunda.

The bald man’s voice coarsens. “Captain please do not tell me you are thinking about this. We cannot keep these strangers aboard; much less take them so far. I see no reason to shift route to such a destination.”

The Captain stomps his foot and shakes his beard. “You know I cannot run away from a challenge.”

“But Cegemuht—“

He stares sternly at his first mate. “We will and you will. I have sailed the same routes aplenty. I want a little excitement. They seem exciting enough. Know let us prepare to leave. Weigh the anker. Hoist the sails.”

We leave his mate to his duties. Cegemuht leads us down to the private quarters. I trail behind looking at the majesty of the ship. The interior is large, enough to fit the Captain’s height easily. We pass the mess hall and a many closed doors. We go on downward.

“There are few private quarters, I am sorry about that.” We travel through the long corridors. “When I had this ship commissioned I wanted any people I took on to be far from the crew’s rooms.” He comes to an oak door and pushes it open. “I hope you enjoy your time with me. I have been sailing for nearly twenty-five years you cannot be in any better hands. I will leave you to yourselves. The dinner bell rings at five. I will see you then.” He leaves.

I collapse onto one of the three cozy beds. It is refreshing not to lie on the ground. To rest my head on a soft feather pillow and not have a rock or the uneven ground at my back. I had missed this. The rocking of the ship, gave my stomach a bit of bubbling when it began to move. The others did not say if it bothered them.

A short time passed. D’ereen is stretched out. Alunda sits crossed-legged with eyes closed in meditation; at least, that is how it appears. And I sit on the edge with my legs drooping down. My stomach did another turn over. Maybe being on this ship had been a bad idea.

Alunda sighs. “I feel better now that we are on our way.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Mainly because I had no idea about the Darkings. What if I had not lost them?”      

“You mean they could have still been following us.” Says D’ereen.

“Not anymore. We are safe now.” He seems reassured.

“The future seems full of despair, how can evil be so unchecked.” I did not expect an answer.

“Evil. How do you define evil? From their point of view, we are evil. What you have to ask yourself is who is right, what is right? Where does the line break?” Alunda ponders.

“Killing people, murdering and ravaging, that is what separates us from them. We show restraint.” D’ereen answers.

“We have done worse.” Alunda whispers to himself. “Anyway it is time for more training sit by me Sol.”

I sit beside him. Alunda seems very wise to me at this moment. A wizard worthy of the name. I have a long way to go before I can rival him in wisdom, a very long way to go. I suppose being wise does not shine easily on the young. I have a beard to grow in the matter.

He spent a long time talking about Elemental Magic. Covering its uses and effects it all seemed simple enough. Until he drooled on into the way to use them and manipulate there energy. I had trouble keeping up. I understand the idea of it that I can be sure. It is only that when using it in the field I knew I would get lost.

“In a few minutes we are going to perform a…exercise.” I hope it will be easy. “First let me discuss something with you. Most creatures have natural energy allowing them to function better. Giving them a modest unity with their surroundings. It is only a slight thing, barely noticeable. We as wielders of magic have something more. Something much more effective. It is called mana and it flows through all magic attuned people. It is the force, which allows us to manipulate energy and much more. I want you to meditate, listen to yourself, go deep and find what needs to be found. Find the gate that blocks you from your mana. Find what you need.”

“How will I know?” I ask.

“You will know. You will just know.” He puts his hands up and stretches his palms wide. “Now close your eyes.”

My heart slows to a low thump. My hands rest loosely on my knees. It is as if energy is traveling between Alunda and me. A synergetic feeling passes through me, towards my core. I feel oddly euphoric and with it, ataraxy comes.

I recede into myself, into the dark mysterious of my mind and soul. A place I am afraid to go. I know the way but am not familiar with it. Dare I to tread there? What mysteries will I unlock? This seems like a bad idea, whatever Alunda’s intentions may be.

I drift on the sea of my inner self. I sink deep into mind water, floating in a sebaceous current. Everything lifts like so much hot air. A dreamscape sweeps about me. Once my eyes focus, I notice the brick path underneath my feet. It curves like a dragon’s back coming to rise on which stands a looming castle.
This place seems timeless, as if it were made from an aetheric substance unknown to normal minds.

I pass by a lake of puffy white material it reminds me of clouds. When I look to the sky, there is a great body of water where clouds should be. My legs wobble as I look up. Such is the make of this place that even the basic rules of life itself are meaningless. I imagine (I hope) hearing this places heartbeat.
Blinking my eyes, castle and hill move closer. I repeat this until I can have thrown a rock into the mote.

I move back just as metal chains fall. The whoosh and taste of iron comes as the drawbridge crashes inches from my nose, missing my toes by centimeters. It invites me in deeper into this lifeless realm. It is very quiet, no birds chirp, no wind whistling, nothing.  

As I walk over the bridge all feelings of being awake or asleep, vanishes. In its place fear, foreboding and connection link me. The halls are as silent as the dead. Every shadow seems to peer at me from the cracks, every corner whispering. I do not want to imagine what a thing like that looks like.

The hall ends leading me up the stairs. They maneuver backwards and forwards, upside down and downside up. Yet still I hold my footing. It is like being glued to a butterfly. Weird as it may sound I know that experience. I do not hold my lunch.

Reaching the last step the castle turns to sand. I look out on a vast desert stretching as far as the eye can see. My feet remain sturdy, I did not fall, on which I stand now is a canyon. It bends towards the next I jump on. The next does the same and the next and so forth. I set my feet on the ground only it shatters like glass.

It feels like I am falling for hours. The ground comes to meet me. There is no pain in the impact. The grains of sand move under me like a caterpillar, I spring up. It is weird, clearly it is sand but it is as fluid as water. As if predicting my thoughts it morphs into grass, rubbing it with my hand makes it seem real enough.

I see figures glint out of the corner my eyes. Turning around I stand before my mother and sisters. It almost brings tears to my eyes but they are not real. They are looking at something mournful; I cannot see it for they block my view. As I move forward, I can see tears on their faces, falling from their cheeks and floating up like bubbles. The tears crash on the ground in pools of blood. Walking closer I can feel the heat of a fire.

A person burns in a pyre. His face awakens a shocking horror in me of unbelievability. He is me. To see yourself burning quibbers the soul, a feeling of pain that is emotional but much more. I have trouble describing it. It feels like it transcends flesh and soul. I find it hard to talk about.

An urge to save myself forces me into action. My hands move down into the fire. They do not blister or scold. I feel no heat. I do not burn but the lying figure does. His hands blacken and crisp, the body chards and crackles.  The fire consumes him, pursing the flesh.

I refuse to believe what my eyes make so plain. I make to grab for him but it is like trying to grab smoke. I watch as skin and muscle burn away, an evil perfume that touches my nose. It makes me dry heave. Soon all that is left is a skeletal frame. I feel death.

The skull twists toward me; its sockets boring into my intent, boney fingers grab me. I see D’ereen as I had found her. Just as then, I find great hysteria and ruth. Its touch makes the feel of the flames coalescence come to life. A kiss of perpetual drift that poisons my insides. A submissive pain I find too hard to escape.

A mad fury envelops me; it is so strong I have to voice it. “STOP! Make it stop.”

The world comes to stasis, more at stop than the eye should see. Slowly it begins to speed up again, whirling like a vortex. The ground barely supports me as images flow by faster and faster. I feel disoriented, at wait for the world to throw me. I close my eyes as it all becomes erratic, my headaches. Bile rises in my throat.

I pray it stops. Why won’t it stop? When I open my eyes all is still, as if nothing happened. Had anything happened? What proof can I collect? Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.

Once my head is clear, do I see the change of scenery. Instead of a desert, I stand atop a gorgeous mountain. Of course looking down the long slop does not help the ache in my head. Everything goes spinny as I try to take a step forward, my body works against me and I topple over. The disorientation fades and I am back on my feet again.

I can smell magenta on the wind. A nice breeze blows my hair. It feels good. It is summer; flowers bloom and saturate the air. Any moment I will hear a familiar call, someone who will shout me home for lunch. Oh, wait, that is not true, it can never be true, never again.

Towards the ridge sits a polished jade throne. It is untouched by age blending well with the grass. It is turned away from me. The once clear sky fills with dark clouds, storm clouds. I wonder if the remains of some ancient person sit there still. Why do I have to creep myself out like that.

I creep forward. Dreading what I may find. Curiosity becomes my master and tormentor. With a spring, I come face to face with something. A silhouette sits but with no owner. It stretches its arms passed the bounds of the chair.  It is not shaped like a man or anything I know of. It has a sinister appeal.

A metallic voice comes from it. “So you are finally here. What do you want?”

“I seek my power. I seek to master myself. Have control over my potential.”

It slams its hand down; there is a sharp crack from the jade. “You little bastard. You come for that. Not a word all this time and you want that.”

“Y-yes.”

Venom flows. “Why? What need do you have of it? After all this time, you want control. Why? What need do you have that is worth my trouble. Go back home.”

I have to keep my resolve. “I refuse to believe my destiny lies for nothing. There is nothing for me home. I cannot go back.”
He whispers my words back to me. “There is nothing for you home.”

“That is what I said. Do you not believe me?”

It seems compassionate but still pondering. “Can you handle some power? Why should you have it? What makes you deserving?”
“I cannot answer.”

It goes on. “What good is power to someone too weak to use it. Too weak to be strong.”

“I…I…”

“You are a disappointment. You have already chosen your own fate. The path with the quickest ends.” It shuffles. “You kill us both.”

“Us? What us there is just me.” What did it say? Had I heard it wrong?

“Fool. Still blind to the true happenings. Do you think this is really, what I look like? No, it is not. This is what you have decided I should look like. I do not know why. You still have much to figure out.”

Could it be right? “Even so, I have to keep going.”

“Hmmmmm. I have no choice. I cannot hold it from you forever. Remember this; if you lose your feet, I will take control. Better stay above water, little one. After all you have me to contend with.” Its hand rises near my face. “I have waited to reach this edge.” It opens its hand and a blue light flourishes from it. Bighting the farthest reaches of this place. “We will meet again one way or another.”

The blue light bursts into my skin. This energy is strong. It is like an electric shock. It gets lazy. A pungent feeling floods through my whole body. A remarkable taste of the pure energy inside of me and of what I can become.

The silhouette vanishes. I feel a sharp buzzing in my head. The scene changes and I am in a hallway. There are doors on either side of me. Something grabs me and pulls me down the hall. Each door locks as I rush passed.

There is a light somewhere ahead. It no longer feels like I am being pulled, I am falling. I leave the hall for another. The light is warm. I collide into it, there is resistance before it collapses under me. My eyes open.

Alunda sits up, eager to hear the verdict. “Well what happened?”
“Woah!” How could I possibly describe it to them?

It takes me several minutes to begin. I try to describe it to them but they look confused. Who is to blame them, what I have seen is beyond words. Some of the things I saw start to fade. I try to conjure them but I cannot bring them back. I can never forget that silhouette, how can I. It said things to me that I still do not understand, sometime soon all these questions need to be answered.

“I found my mana Alunda. It was not easy. Oh boy it wasn’t easy.” I cannot wait to see the look on his face.

He grins wide, priceless. “You have done it. I knew you could do it. I was right about you. I knew it would not be easy but this is remarkable. In truth for most, it takes years. I have seen decent wizards lost within their own mind. You are different, you have something very special.”

She punches him hard on the arm. “Stupid, if you knew he could die, why did you let him go on?”

“I had faith as should you.” It is good he feels that way but how can I.

Soon after, a bell rings throughout the halls. We get up and head to the mess hall. I am not looking forward to this. I am glad we are going together. Otherwise, a bunch of eating and drinking sailors would be even more unpleasant. We approach the door.

I was right it is just how I imagined. We get in line, grabbing bowls and spoons. The line gradually shortens. A gruff young man takes his ladle and slaps the hot mess into our bowls. I take a seat at an empty table. They follow behind.

“This looks terrible.” Says D’ereen.

“At least it is hot.” Yeah it is hot.

“This looks like how I feel.”

That got Alunda smiling. “If you feel this bad then you better see a doctor.”

D’ereen takes the first bite. Her face cringes. “It tastes how green should taste. A big bowl of hot green.”

The night went by much like this. Little jokes about the food. Luckily, Alunda found some water, which helped the taste. We had fun. In fact, we were quite silly. The night was great and seemed to last and last.

After a while, we had to call it a night. We were all tired. It is some time in the night that I wake. The covers are heavy and hot. I slip out of them and feel the cool air. It is cooler on the deck; I have to get some air.

I stand holding onto the rail looking down at the dark water. I look out to the vast expanse of the Sibat Ocean. There is something special seeing the sea. It is one of Gaea’s great creations. I thank the makers for this moment. What luck I have to be able to journey to lands I had never heard of.

It is funny. I must be blessed by the gods or something. I suppose everyone’s life is filled with excitement in one way or another. I am just one of millions who is experiencing his journey. You cannot hide from the way. I have learned that.

I pair of hands cover my eyes. “Guess who.”

“D’ereen I thought you were asleep.”

She takes her hands away from my eyes. “I was. It is a beautiful night, very dreamy.” She stands beside me, leaning on the railing.

“I have never been on a ship before, it’s wonderful.”

“Sol?”

“Hmmm.”

“I don’t think I can go with you to Exezla.” What is she saying?
My heart skids. “Why not?”

She lowers her head. “Because of what I am.”

I grab her hand. “Never be ashamed of who you are.” I find myself gazing into her prodigious eyes.

There is a drawn silence. She looks surprise. Did she expect me to say something else? Was it she who moved closer or I? Her fingers twine around mine. We both blush.

“I will only go with you if you say I should.” Somehow, this seems familiar.

“You already know you can.”

Our faces nearly meet she is so close. My heart races hard. It feels like there are small explosions in my stomach. I can feel my whole face explode in red. She bites her lip. I look away nervously. She takes this the wrong way and walks away.

I pull her back. “D’ereen please come with me.”

She kisses me hard on the lips. Leaning forward she whispers in my ear. “Then I will.”

She walks off. “Where are you going?” What did I do wrong now?

A naughty smile spreads across her face. “Goodnight.” She says as she walks by.