Not A Perfect Day

Woke up fell out of bed,
dragged a brush across my head,
headed downstairs past the poo
splashed nappy,
that amused the kid and made him happy

Fell through the kitchen door
landed on the floor,  

Caught in rain
what a pain
left without my trench coat.  

Disposed of bottle top's  
headed for the bus stop
through the squeaky gate
the bus was late…Again!!!

The bus appeared out of nowhere,
got on the bus, they raised the bloody bus fare.
"What’s the damage"
I decided to inquire as the bus driver
looked at me with eyes of fire?
"£5.40 SINGLE"
Now hang on a tingle £5.40?
you expect me to pay it was £2.05 yesterday!
"That was then this now"
the bank balance was broken
with a devastating   P O W !!!!!!!

Handed over money in the form a note
"can’t change that?
"Why? It’s only a tenner"
don’t carry change"
I don’t know what change is?  
And I can only count up to 11
his IQ had died and gone to heaven.

£10 down headed for the lettuce and crown
scabbed a pint from mike,
but it just did not taste right
Puked in the loo covered in piss and poo,
all down, my flannel shirt and jeans.

Caught the bus home (which was late)
Stole a gnome, returning home.  
A game of neighbour wars had assured,
ducking in and out of shadows
as if I was being purseued.

The key got stuck in the door
went flying through the kitchen door  
landed face up in the child’s nappy
that amused the kid and kept him happy.

Not a perfect day.