Getting Back Up After Slipping Back To Being Her

I fell into a trap I did not even realize I had stumbled into
the fact that I even tripped alone is reason enough to feel blue
my heart aches at the thought that I became what I hate and fear most, Her once more
I thought I had changed and now I'm back to recovering once more
I didn't even realize that I was changing back
didn't see that I was quietly under attack
now I'm picking myself back up off the ground
trying so had to be quiet for I don't want my tears to make a sound
just wish this was all a bad dream
that I did not go back to being Her even for that second that few seen
I failed and I fell
does this mean I am doomed to go back to a living hell?
I will never stop fighting this monster that is within me
I will never let Her cause me or anyone anymore misery
thought that She was gone
guess I couldn't have been more wrong
I guess it's because she has been so dormant for so long
anger and lust and hatred is she
and She is part of me
the part I fight with everyday
and I wish, hope and pray that I'll wake up and She was gone all the way
but I wont stop I will fight Her everyday in every possible way
She will be gone some day...