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Lullaby for a Dead Man
I was dreaming... I know that now.
But then it seemed so real.
I walked into the room and there sat my father, he was alive.
He was alright, alive and healthy.
Sitting right in front of me.
Death was not permanent in this dream.
It was like a disease, you could be cured from it.
I went to his side and hugged him, his long arms pulling me close.
"I'm sorry daddy-- I thought you were dead. But you're okay, I missed you so much. I love you. Please don't leave again like that please. I missed you so much, I love you."
Over and over I repeated the same things, again and again.
And then finally...
Finally my father spoke.
Holding me close to him and looking at me with his dark brown eyes:
"I'm sorry"
Nothing more, and nothing less.
That was all he said.
And then he was gone.
And I woke up.
Tears sliding down my cheeks.
Because after eighteen years, after years of wanting my dad to care about me.
After so many times I was willing to give in but I never did.
So many battles with my father.
So much darkness that I had to live through.
I found the light.
In those two words.
"I'm sorry"
He said.
After all these years he finally said that he was sorry.
For what?... I do not know.
Maybe for dying.
For not being there.
For not knowing how much I truly did care about him.
For not knowing how to speak to me.
For not knowing how to be a father to me.
But trying his hardest to be a friend.
I loved my father.
No matter what he said or did.
I loved him.
And to hear him say those words.
To hear him apologize after so much pain.
It broke me.
And I cried and cried and cried.
And I think I ever cried so more after that.
Because within those moments that my father finally apologized for what he had done.
I finally found a way to forgive him.
RIP Donald R. Burgess
09/14/53 - 08/31/12
But then it seemed so real.
I walked into the room and there sat my father, he was alive.
He was alright, alive and healthy.
Sitting right in front of me.
Death was not permanent in this dream.
It was like a disease, you could be cured from it.
I went to his side and hugged him, his long arms pulling me close.
"I'm sorry daddy-- I thought you were dead. But you're okay, I missed you so much. I love you. Please don't leave again like that please. I missed you so much, I love you."
Over and over I repeated the same things, again and again.
And then finally...
Finally my father spoke.
Holding me close to him and looking at me with his dark brown eyes:
"I'm sorry"
Nothing more, and nothing less.
That was all he said.
And then he was gone.
And I woke up.
Tears sliding down my cheeks.
Because after eighteen years, after years of wanting my dad to care about me.
After so many times I was willing to give in but I never did.
So many battles with my father.
So much darkness that I had to live through.
I found the light.
In those two words.
"I'm sorry"
He said.
After all these years he finally said that he was sorry.
For what?... I do not know.
Maybe for dying.
For not being there.
For not knowing how much I truly did care about him.
For not knowing how to speak to me.
For not knowing how to be a father to me.
But trying his hardest to be a friend.
I loved my father.
No matter what he said or did.
I loved him.
And to hear him say those words.
To hear him apologize after so much pain.
It broke me.
And I cried and cried and cried.
And I think I ever cried so more after that.
Because within those moments that my father finally apologized for what he had done.
I finally found a way to forgive him.
RIP Donald R. Burgess
09/14/53 - 08/31/12
Published 23rd Sep 2012
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23rd Sep 2012 00:37am
This is a very personal poem which
triggered much in me, gently written
with the emotional pull just enough for
a tear, thank you for sharing this,
Kind regards
Ricecake
triggered much in me, gently written
with the emotional pull just enough for
a tear, thank you for sharing this,
Kind regards
Ricecake
