deepundergroundpoetry.com
If only she didn't want it
she said she likes it rough
it's
never enough
hold down
flip over
push head grip throat
talk dirty, filthy bitch likes fat cock
in tight ass
and such
fair enough I thought
sex as full contact sport
and
I can value competition
but
it's
my fault for forgetting
that women don't play fair
unfocused
immature
not much of a man
she tells me
her foreplay
I have bitten
my lip more than her nipples
and I can finally fuck her
the way that she wants
but
the problem is
my cock is too hard
and I really want to hit her
if
only I wasn't sure
it would make her cum
it's
never enough
hold down
flip over
push head grip throat
talk dirty, filthy bitch likes fat cock
in tight ass
and such
fair enough I thought
sex as full contact sport
and
I can value competition
but
it's
my fault for forgetting
that women don't play fair
unfocused
immature
not much of a man
she tells me
her foreplay
I have bitten
my lip more than her nipples
and I can finally fuck her
the way that she wants
but
the problem is
my cock is too hard
and I really want to hit her
if
only I wasn't sure
it would make her cum
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: If only she didn't want it
16th Sep 2012 11:24pm
Would it be offensive if I just commented "lol"? Always in a good way of course. :D funny and self deprecating. I like.
Write on.
Write on.
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re: Re: If only she didn't want it
16th Sep 2012 11:31pm
Re: If only she didn't want it
16th Sep 2012 11:41pm
Re: If only she didn't want it
17th Sep 2012 10:15am
rah! laid out, done. that is something, LB. "her foreplay" that isn't just for fun... this write is a minefield and certainly showing sex as more than sex: an outlet, a competition, a mirror. rich and painful. well done all around, i say.
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re: Re: If only she didn't want it
Thanks j...i took this fairly seriously...although aggressive,angry borderline abusive sex can be hot in moments,its not my first impulse...and it has occurred to me that the woman this was written about would go through great lengths to anger me,not even in bedroom-though subconsciously it was same odd turn on for her
Re: If only she didn't want it
17th Sep 2012 3:40pm
This is relate-able (again). I hear you with the biting the lip thing and the urge to just Grrrr.
I said 'again' because your poems are generally more relat-able than most.
Nothing i can give by way of critique here. I really like the honest matter of fact style you instill in your poetry.
good job man.
I said 'again' because your poems are generally more relat-able than most.
Nothing i can give by way of critique here. I really like the honest matter of fact style you instill in your poetry.
good job man.
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re: Re: If only she didn't want it
17th Sep 2012 3:53pm
Thanks craic...very glad to hear its relate able,good for a bit of confidence..appreciated
Re: If only she didn't want it
Anonymous
17th Sep 2012 4:40pm
Deep....lightbaron.
Strider
Strider
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re: Re: If only she didn't want it
17th Sep 2012 4:55pm
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Nov 2018 2:45pm
19th Sep 2012 6:10pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: If only she didn't want it
19th Sep 2012 6:19pm
A wonderfully depraved suggestion..ha..thank you much... Twist of irony-the muse for this piece shares half your name
Re: If only she didn't want it
21st Sep 2012 4:56pm
re: Re: If only she didn't want it
21st Sep 2012 6:12pm
Re: If only she didn't want it
10th Oct 2012 10:04am
Biting your lip more than her tit... sometimes it turns people on to have you in their grip. What's it matter if you're not sure? The allure in who's the master? Gets her higher when your desire makes you impure in thought, so sure of yourself but wrought with doubt? I hope you sent this one to the sadistic twist who manipulated your shit into thinking she was a sub.
But then the word "competition" tells me you prolly already knew it was all manipulation. Sorry you got trapped man, but like Buck Cherry's song "Crazy Bitch"... we could all get sucked into bad situs when the sex is good enough.
But then the word "competition" tells me you prolly already knew it was all manipulation. Sorry you got trapped man, but like Buck Cherry's song "Crazy Bitch"... we could all get sucked into bad situs when the sex is good enough.
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Re: If only she didn't want it
11th Oct 2012 1:32pm
Yup...def a game you let yourself be involved in. and rules can certainly be bent when sex is included
Re: If only she didn't want it
8th Nov 2012 8:02am
I remember reading this one. I don't know why I didn't comment. Maybe hits too close to home. Met girls like this, and have probably been that girl at various points. :S
Anyways, a darkly emotive write. Enjoyed this piece maybe a bit more than I should.
Peace, Indie
Anyways, a darkly emotive write. Enjoyed this piece maybe a bit more than I should.
Peace, Indie
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re: Re: If only she didn't want it
8th Nov 2012 1:57pm
Well so glad the write worked for you, but its touchy whether I am glad that you can relate...this realm of the near abusive is certainly wrapped in certain kinds of arousal for some people. Thanks for stopping back through miss indie
re: re: Re: If only she didn't want it
8th Nov 2012 2:03pm
It kind of disturbs me that I can relate on some level. Though I would never say that I'm all in 100%. I agree there is an element of abuse in it all, which is also disturbing.
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re: re: re: Re: If only she didn't want it
8th Nov 2012 2:15pm
I was a bit disturbed that I could relate enough to write this..and I as well, am def not in 100%. For the record this is certainly an inflated recollection, and wrote it because I was suprised at my own ability to even start crossing certain lines...its an odd thing, I never understood how violence n sex could be related, til I seen some of my emotions get aroused and slighlty corrupted
re: re: re: re: Re: If only she didn't want it
8th Nov 2012 2:23pm
it's an odd combination that I explore in some of my work. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but I've written about it, because I had to write it out of me, and sometimes the things I write disturb me, so I completely understand that.
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