Fare Lady

Very good imagery.
I love the story element and emotion u make her feel. I loved reafing this. Great work!:)
The deeper meaning in this speaks to me truly,

thanks friend

Creates a good image. Nice wording, but as you have stated that you want honest critique. So I must put out there that there are a couple spelling errors, also, Do you mean 'Fare' Lady? Or 'Fair' Lady.

well my spelling mistake is apart of how i write
and also yes i do mean fare as in fair like its not fair but i want it like that

I really enjoyed this poem, I too have gone to bed crying trying to shut out the world and light to fall asleep and escapee from the pain.

thank you so much i rely appreciate it

This poem reaaly creates a picture and speaks to our hearts, even if we are not a lady, especially those that have been bruised... Well done

thanks so much friend im very joyful of our words

"scratching her brain like metallic hand "
mmmm--love it.

beautiful, evocative, sad words Denka.

We`ve missed your writing - happy to read something new : > )

thanks dear ^^ much very welcome of your kindness

 BTW --

 I also like your use of the word

"Fare" lady ---

because it suggests that some type of PRICE
was paid in this relationship......

You have really embraced your style of writing. Great poem overall

hugs*
missed you so much dear

Quite the depressing poem you've written. Forgive my ignorance but I assume this write is about a failed relationship,or is there more to this than I can comprehend?  

more then you can comprehend dear chingu

"vines sprouted flowers around her ribcage.
slowly keeping it all to herself."

beauty brings pain to does who take it
but your art is the spark who lights the flame

nice read :)

thank you friend much apreciated

"BullShit Nights"

 you are SO right ..............

thanks for comment

blinded eyes will never see light
once upon a time on that faithful night

Wow, I love it ^^

thank you im hapy you like chingu :)

An astoundingly beautiful and surreal work of art, charming Kumiko! This line was remarkably inspired, I thought:

"vines sprouted flowers around her ribcage."

That impressed me greatly with the vibrancy of the contrasting image that conjures up: flowers that represent life, and a ribcage that brings to mind death. Together it is evocative of a cycle of life, death, and rebirth that brings to mind eternity and the immortality of the soul. Which was something I was not expecting to notice in this poem, but which I found impressive. Now this line was also magnificent:

"Closing her eyes to drift from herself
to bring forth emptiness"

Because it made me think of a person meditating in search of enlightenment and inner peace, or a Buddha seeking Nirvana. An interesting image: that seemed to add a further spiritual element where I was not expecting to find one. Very good writing!

So in addition to being a deep and heartfelt poem about one's feelings, emotions, and loneliness, there are deeper dimensions that call to the reader and which warrant a second or third read just to take in all the beauty of this piece.

This was a joy to read, as all your poetry is to me, and one of your best and finest works ever!

Much love to you. :)

^.^
yhaaaaaaaa
im so happy you injoy :)
gomawo friend