Dear Mom

Mother
you have never once told me I was beautiful;
is it that I look too much like my father,
with His skin tone
and His curly hair?

Mother
you are the one who taught me to be ashamed
of how I look, of how I speak,
of who I am
so different from those around me.

Mother?
Do you think you still deserve to be called that
after all the harsh words and pain,
all the sleepless nights spent wondering
why you love my siblings but not me?

Mother.
That all important word,
it still holds such power over me,
awakens all the feelings of worthlessness
and shame.

Mother
despite everything you've put me through
and all these years of trying to rebuild,
my greatest desire
is to hear you say you love me.

I hate you.