What happens when you love an addict

I can smell him    
I can feel him  
   
yet I cant see him  
in my dreams hes there  
   
but the reality of the situation is, he is dead  
and he will remain so  
   
they buried him with my heart and soul  
I walk around mindless and heartless  
   
angry when I see young lovers  
angry at the fucking world  
   
staying up late cursing the stars  
waking up late cursing the sun  
   
I'm pissed, I'm hurt  
he was an addict what did I think would happen?  
   
that one day he would magically be sober  
that one day we would be happy  
   
yeah, that didn't happen  
he over dosed  
   
he died sitting in someones car, in a parking lot    
he died alone    
   
he didn't have his ID or anything to identify him  
so for 2 days I thought he was out partying    
   
when in all actuality he was in a freezer  
when his fingerprints came back, then I was notified    
   
I die a little more everyday    
trying to pick up the pieces became to much  
   
pieces of the person I was remain scattered  
I could care less if the earth stopped spinning  
   
fucking opiates fucking doctors  
I am beside myself  
   
I scream into a pillow trying to release my rage  
I scream until it hurts  
   
I punch random shit in my house  
breaking everything I can  
   
the anger replaced the sadness awhile ago  
the anger is destroying me  
   
synthetic heroin  
prescribed by the local family doctor  
   
who really needs 120 Vicodin and 90 Oxycontin    
when the only pain you have is in your mind  
   
why try and drown your sorrows  
when everyone knows sorrows can swim  
   
they don't kill the pain  
they kill you