I FEAR ( for the fear of sex competition)

I FEAR

As I watch you hovering above me,
breathless, captured in the glow of passion
fleeting thoughts bombard my mind,as we kiss
and time unwinds....

I ....am ....so... into you
that all I want to do is fuse with your flesh
as we mesh and become....one
Yet, here come my doubts again and I come undone.

Wondering if you feel the depth of me so completely
that after sex, there will be no mystery
No more nirvahana only fleeting ecstasy
and this fear now vexes me...

Because I wanna love you forever  
yet sometimes forever seems so
long to only touch my skin
in fact it almost seems wrong....
as I fear that I wont be enough to keep you
or your appetite sated
I ache in my soul because of how long I've
waited....to be loved by someone like you

Yet I fear that you can see right through
my eyes...into my soul
as my fears begin to rise

I look up into your face
as you cover me in passionate cries
you ask me if it feels good....
and I just lie...because I don't want you
to know whats really on my mind....

As I hope my fears of not pleasing you
dissipate....in time