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Image for the poem Poochie...........(to say I love you will never be enough)

Poochie...........(to say I love you will never be enough)

"My eyes adored ya  
Though I never laid a hand on you  
My eyes adored ya  
Like a million miles away from me  
You couldn't see how I adored ya  
So close, so close and yet so far"  
 

Ring, ring. "Hello"........so simple you know  
A phone call comes in the night, hauntingly familiar  
You hope everything is allright.  
 
"Hey Cloud, you know who this is?  
This is Tonya....."  
I froze, my voice could not speak  
My eyes began to well up with tears  
Cried a river of waters upon cool satin sheets......  
 
...........this can't be.  
What a cruel twist of fate.  
What "devil in hell" would play such a mean trick on me?  
 
My precious "Poochie" was dead.  
Twas but a dream, a night terror rolling around in my head  
Wiping my eyes, I looked at the large green letters on the clock  
A date that rang in infamy almost sent me into shock  
 
"Today is her birthday"  
That's it you see.......  
........and it's also the day  
that she was taken from me  
 
......at her own hands.  
 
She was a special child  
She and I had a special bond  
Some might have thought it inappropriate  
We ignored the haters and time moved on  
 
She truly was a prize  
Smart, dedicated to success.......seemingly never to falter  
I called her "Poochie"  
She was closer to me than my own daughter.  
 
Stories I could share  
that would warm the coldest of hearts  
She was beautiful, she was tough  
and oh my God, she was so smart........  
 
.......yet so vulnerable  
she always tried to keep that locked deep inside  
Away from everyone except me........  
..........and then her momma' died  
 
From that day forward,  
I began to notice a change  
She was still my "Poochie"  
But she was never again the same  
 
There evolved in her a "longing"  
A darkening in her soul  
Yes she kept on pushing on  
Demons rising up inside began to take their toll.  
 
In those times, my love for her  
grew so much deeper  
The light that shined so bright inside now dimming  
I was willing go through hell to keep her.......  
 
......safe from all harm  
 
And my efforts worked for awhile  
The struggles to graduate from college  
That was one day in a very long time  
that I saw my "Poochie" smile  
 
Then my young engineer landed inside a great career  
She met a wonderful man and for a moment it seemed clear that  
my "Poochie" was healing; she was gonna' be allright  
I remember she called me late one September night  
 
"Cloud, I'm getting married.  We'll be moving away.  
I love you "Daddy"  
I'm gonna' call you everyday......."  
 
But as things go,  
Days turned to months  
Months turned to years  
 
I thought of Poochie often  
I fought against my fears  
of something going wrong  
and I would not be there........  
 
........I just prayed that my baby would be allright  
 
Now I'm left with the memory of a hot August night  
Four years ago, today  
My "Poochie" took her own life.......  
 
 
.......and I wasn't even there to save her  
To simply say "POOCHIE NO!!!  
To wrap my big arms around my "daughter"  
I would have taken that bullet if it meant saving her life;  
saving her soul  
 
.....and then a year later, fate would again have it's way  
Her younger brother, Pat whom she loved more than life  
died the next year......you guessed it  
on that same August day.  
 
Poochie, to say I loved you will never ever  
seem like enough  
I always wanted to be there for you when times were hard  
and the path seemed mighty tough  
 
My eyes adored you  
like a proud papa on the first day  
of his first child's birth,  
perfect in everyway.....she captures her father's eye  
You'll forever be my babygirl  
and I will love you till the day I die.  
 
"You're in my heart, you're in my soul  
You'll be my breath should I grow old  
You are my daughter, you're my best friend  
You're in my soul..........."
 
 
 
.........rest in peace, Poochie.    
Across heaven's shores, I will see you smile again.  
 
 
 
"(My eyes adored ya)  
All my life I will remember  
(Though I never laid a hand on you)  
How warm and tender we were way back then, baby  
(Like a million miles away from me  
you couldn't see how I adored ya)  
Oh, the feeling, sad regrets  
(So close, so close and yet so far)  
I know I won't ever forget ya......."
 
 
 
   
 
 
( To Tonya, forever and always *my* babygirl.  I miss you )
MusicallyMrM
Written by MusicallyMrM (Mr_Mahogany_Wood)
Published | Edited 23rd Aug 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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