My Child Forsaken

Amazing write, I liked the structure

Thank you much Levi.
 
It's always a pleasure.

X

I see you're trying out a new style :) I like the minimalist effect. Just a couple of nits, IMO "reaches" in verse two would read better as "reach" and last verse "it's" would read more powerfully than "this" in line one. Other than that I really like the dark vulnerability of this, the pain coming through in the so few words you've graced us with. A great job :)

Peace, Indie

Indie!

Thank you so much for your feedback! I agree with it instead of this, however, I can't wrap my head around reach. I will ponder it a bit more though.

This came about accidentally, so I am glad that it works.

Thanks for stopping by.

XxXxX

Few words that do speak volumes Rachel. Profound piece and a great pen. :)

Thank you Magdalena, that means a lot to me.

XX

I like it Rachel...Strider

Hey Strider, thanks! :D

X

Rachel

had read your captivating pen before here.but this one, a very short yet intense call.

inspiring style n format..

thnxx fr the share~uma.

Uma, thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate you stopping by.

The hopelessness expressed is deflating. Even the waves of escape are repulsive. Powerful piece.

Good morning Rachel :)

Good morning Ken!

Thank you so much for stopping by. It is always a pleasure.

Happy and safe travels to you this Monday. :)

Holy shit, what Ken said!

This is so ruthlessly sparse, so spartan and bare-bones, and yet it is fucking desolate to the core.

OH MY FUCKING YES! (I love it when that happens, don't you?)

Really an awesome piece.
Betty

I absolutely love when you comment on my poems. You have such enthusiasm and are brilliant and saying why you like something.

I am thrilled that you stopped by Betty. Thank you!

X

Oh my friggen word!

The style here is, as you would know, very close to my heart. The topic a dear one. The words you have painted are styled beautifuly and have a magnificent hue of wonderful expression. But your message, your message is spelled out stylishly and with acute precission.

Rachel you are a superstar!

Well done on this, really well done!

Al -x-

Al, dang!
 
I adore you. I am always honored when you stop by and leave such amazing feedback.  
 
I am thrilled this worked.  
 
Thank you for your encouragement.  
 
~XxX~

This is a treasure Rachel, it speaks volumes!

Hey! Thank you so much!

Always a pleasure mememe. :)

very impressed with your writing skills!

Wow, thanks a bunch!