deepundergroundpoetry.com
yeah whatever
burnt butter cupcakes
sugaring my tongue
the t.v is driving me
crazy i hate it
my sister plays death metal
i play at dying
i even suck at poems now
cant punctuate
i can make
burnt butter cupcakes
sugaring my tongue
the t.v is driving me
crazy i hate it
my sister plays death metal
i play at dying
i even suck at poems now
cant punctuate
i can make
burnt butter cupcakes
Published 18th Aug 2012
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Aug 2012 5:40am
23rd Aug 2012 8:32am
This lacks imagery. Never the less, I can see where you were trying to go with it. I'm not sure I cared for the redundancy with the last and first stanza. I can see how you played around with line breaks, it's an interesting technique in any poem.
Refine, take your time, and embellish your poem. Effort is always appreciated.
AlwaysCaliban
Refine, take your time, and embellish your poem. Effort is always appreciated.
AlwaysCaliban
