where from here?

I should not care so much as I do
I should not care as much as I do about you
it started as a simple crush
but I know no simple crush brings such pain nor such a rush
I'm afraid what I'm doing is called falling in love
could someone please tell me is this Gods plan from above?
my heart is breaking almost in two
once again I'm feeling blue
because I do not think I am meant for you at all
so someone please tell me why now of all times must I fall?
I do not want to fall in love right now
I'm praying I might be wrong somehow
but I know how I'm feeling
and it's my heart he be stealing
Lord please help me from this pain
because falling in love is driving me insane
I need to wake up from this dream
because I know for a fact this is not what it seems
so someone tell me please
is it Gods plan that I don't leave
I want to run it is true
I want to run from love until I'm through
I hate being number two
because being so makes me feel so blue
I hate feeling this way
when I don't even know if he's going to even stay
I wish I could push him away from me
but how can I when he's my best friend, see?
does he know how I feel? he knows it see I've told him
it seems like I've told him again and again
I wish he'd tell me what to expect because I just don't know
where from here I am to go